Ares jokes
Two hats are next to each other. One hat says to the other, "Stay here, I'll go on ahead."
House parties are like churches: there's always an underage kid getting fucked somewhere.
I know why Asian's eyes are always closed. It's because Americans are so fat and ugly.
According to all known laws of aviation,
there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Coming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry? - Adam?
- Can you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!
Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I am gay, so are you.
trolls are dumb
Are you a raisin? Because you’re raisin' my dick.
Are you a school bus? Because I want to fill you with kids.
It's opposite day today. I'm gonna tell an orphan that their parents are here.
Why are New Yorkers so good at reading?
Some of them went through 100 stories in 10 seconds.
Are you a bullet?
*gets shot*
Kids are like a box of chocolates, they taste so good and you never know what you are going to get.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't wanna say this, but nobody cares about you.
Are you a Samsung Galaxy Note 7? Because I want to explode in you!
If 80% of all suicides in the UK are males, and women want equality, then maybe they should just kill themselves.
Roses are red, I'm not a boaster.
Elon must've got rushed to the hospital after impregnating a toaster.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
Your balls are growing too big that they will pop like a balloon!
Ask someone if they are a rhino. If they say yes, tell them "so you're horny." And if they reply yes again, block them from your life entirely.
I like women's rights "jokes" because they're all facts.
Have you heard the saying, "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? Great saying.
Not so great way to find out you are adopted.