Ares jokes
Why are white teenagers the best for the army? They are good at shooting things up.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how big they are and how hard you throw them.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 Victims, they went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
What are you going to have for a face when the baboon wants its butt back?
Why do ballerinas wear tutus?
The one-ones are too small and the three-threes are too big.
The inmates are yelling 12...12...12... in the courtyard.
A man walking by is interested why the keep chanting 12...12...12... so he sticks his head through the fence and the inmate poked the man in the eye.
Moment later they start chanting 13...13...13...
Teacher: Kids, what are some things you have that make you happy? Kid 1: I have my family to make me happy. Kid 2: I have my friends to make me happy. Teacher: What about you, Sean? Sean: I have to take pills to make me happy...
Q: Why are gay people never late for their flight?
A: They get their shit packed the night before.
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off, and someone asked him, "How are you?" And he said, "I’m all right now."
Pedophiles are just fucking, immature assholes.
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Man, it's hot in here!"
The other muffin says, "OH MY GOSH A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"
The grapes in the supermarket are really raisin' the bars...
What games do you play if you are bored?
Board games.
In Australia, my jokes are high koala-ty.
Back in Australia, my puns are high koala-tea!
Chuck Norris has been to Mars... that's why there are no signs of life there.
Little Johnny went to the doctor to get an infection checked on his penis. As the doctor examined it, he asked, "Lil Johnny how did you get an infection on your penis?" Johnny replied, "Well, the damn neighbor Sally's braces are too sharp."
You're a bish, and you are too!
There are 5 cats on a boat, and 1 jumps off. How many are left?
Zero, they were copycats.
My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are always up.