Ares jokes

My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are up!

Roses are red, violets are violet.

These are some of the greatest names ever: Dixie Normous, Dixie Rekt, Ka Monmi, Ice Wallow Kum, Dick Sinsider, Anita Biggerman.

I have a skeleTON of jokes, but none of them are very humorous.

Titanic was sinking.

Passenger: "How far are we from land?"

Captain: "Two miles."

Passenger: "Which direction?"

Captain: "Down."

Adopted kid: I made a big mistake!

Dad: You are one.

Roses are red, violets are blue, this poem doesn’t make sense, washing machine.

If tomatoes are a fruit, does that mean ketchup is a smoothie?

I can’t hang out with an emo when they are sad? Why? Because it cuts deeply.

Why are graveyards so popular? Because people are always dying to get into them.

A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street, and they come to a kid playing in a sandbox. The priest says, "Hey, you wanna go screw that kid?"

To which the rabbi replies, "Out of what?"

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: Because chickens are mindless creatures and do not know any better.

You are American when you walk into the bathroom, and you are American when you walk out.

But do you know what you are when you're in the bathroom? European.

Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"

"Are you sure?" asks the other.

"I'm positive!"

There are 3 things wrong with this world.

1. Spelling

2. Maths.

If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?

Why are retards good at basketball?

'Cause they dribble all the time!

If you fuck your sister in front of a redneck, are you appropriating their culture?

I adopted a dog. It's gone now.

At least homeless people in China are not starving.

Phone rings; "Are your parents home?"

Orphan; "Stop calling here!"