Ares jokes
You’re Russian when you go to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out. What are you in the bathroom?
European.
Why are smurfs blue?
Because they get bruises all the time.
I love Muslims, they are great at parties!
They have the best fireworks.
Hands down, syndromes are bad.
Why do Down's kids blend in in geometry?
Their foreheads are angled.
If you are ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
A feminist walks into a bar. Her friend says, "Oh my god, your shoulders are broad!" Another woman says, "Are you sure it's a woman?"
The twin towers are like genders, there used to be two of them.
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”
Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
“Jesus Christ almighty!” shouts Molly.
“Correct,” says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”
Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack’s pencil.
“Jesus Christ almighty!” she shouts.
“Correct again,” says the teacher.
The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.
This time the teacher asks her, “What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?”
Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams “If you stick that thing in me one more time I’m going to crack it in half!”
It's said Duracell batteries are supposed to last 75 years, well Stephen, here you are.
Why do cows die?
'Cuz they are to beef.
Kid starts shooting people in school, teacher asks “why are you doing that”. He responds, “I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas”
Kid starts short-coming people in school. Teacher asks, "Why are you doing that?"
He responds, "I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas!"
Hey God, what are you making?
Just a wooden stick that lights on fire.
Sounds like a match made in heaven.
A boy walks into the bedroom and sees mom and dad having sex. The boy says, "What are you doing?"
"Baking a cake."
The next day he walked up to his mom doing dishes.
"Remember when you were making a cake? I LICKED UP ALL THE FROSTING."
If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan! What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Little Timmy wanted to take a shower with his dad. His dad said, "Don't look down." Timmy looked down. Timmy said, "What's that?" Timmy's dad said, "That's Mr. Wiggles." Timmy wanted to take a shower with his mom. Timmy's mom said, "Don't look down." Timmy looked down. Timmy said, "What's that?" Timmy's mom said, "That's my garden." Timmy's mom said, "Don't look up." Timmy looked up. Timmy said, "What are those?" Timmy's mom said, "Those are her headlights." Timmy wanted to sleep with his parents. His parents said, "Don't look under the covers." Timmy looked under the covers. Timmy yelled, "MOMMY, MOMMY, MR. WIGGLES IS ATTACKING YOUR GARDEN! TURN ON YOUR HEADLIGHTS!"
Yahahlmsyw.
That stand for:
You are has a whole, let me show you why.
Q: Why do I like bone jokes so much?
A: Because they are humerus.