Ares jokes
I take debt of 25,000 euro. I spend 20,000 in charity, and 5000 euro are left. I pay the debt of 2000 euro and I have to pay now 23,000 euro to bank, and 3000 euro I have in profit, 23,000 +3000 >> 26000 ;)
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Get in the van, or I'll kill you.
A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde are being chased by bandits. They are chased to the edge of a cliff and a genie appears.
"I will help you escape," says the genie, "say what you wish to turn into, and you will become that thing."
The brunette jumps off the cliff and says "Hawk." She turns into a hawk and flies away. The red-head says "Falcon." She turns into a falcon and flies away. Now the blonde is alone and the bandits are getting closer. She makes her decision and backs up, then runs toward the cliff. And...she trips and says "Crap."
The End
Back in ancient Greece, there was a Greek Skyrim, but instead of FUS ROH DAH, the main character said, "Me damnit, Ganymede, get the #10 lightning bolt, I hate it when Helios lets his kids drive!"
If you don't get this, look up the story of Phaethon, and if you STILL don't get it, then you are dumb.
We are gonna crush you in the try not to laugh.
Why does everyone like couch jokes?
Because they are sofa-nny (so funny)!
Three people died and went to Hell. One of them is from America, the second guy is from Germany, and the third guy is from Afghanistan. The devil lets each person make a phone call to their loved ones in the country they came from, but they will be charged. The American spends 10 minutes on the phone and is charged $20. The German spends 12 minutes on the phone and is charged $24. The man from Afghanistan spends half an hour on the phone and is charged nothing. The other two guys asked the devil why. The devil responded: "Local calls are free."
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Are you kidding? Feminists can’t change anything.
Top ten dog breeds:
10. Dogs
9. Are
8. Beautiful
7. Animals
6. And
5. Judgement
3. Is
2. Cruel
1. Dachshund
Two boys are talking on the bus.
Boy 1: I feel like I'm forgetting something.
Boy 2: Hey, did you hear about that school shooting last week?
Boy 1: Oh, that's right.
Let's not make any more Indian jokes. All your jokes are trash. Please stop.
Why are hill billies so weird? Because their name is Billy.
If you wanna hit somebody, hit an orphan, what are they gonna do... tell their parents?
If there is a divorce in West Virginia, are they still brother and sister?
What do Communism, Socialism, Feminism, and Fascism all have in common?
They are all disabilities.
A boy walks into some woods with a phone, and his friend comes by and asks, "What are you doing?"
He pauses, then says, "Trying some bird calls!"
I tried a pun about water, but people "sea" right through it, and when people complain, they are usually just being a beach.
Hippity Hoppity, women are my property.
Bippity Boppity, get the f*ck off my property!
Who are the fastest readers? Nine-eleven victims, because they fell through 720 stories in under 10 seconds.
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.