Ares jokes
One day a man dies and goes to heaven. He gets there and sees a bunch of clocks. He asks Jesus, "Hey, what are the clocks for?" Jesus replies, "They move every time you sin." "This is Mother Teresa's, it has not moved so she has not sinned." "This one is Abraham Lincoln's, it has moved twice so he sinned twice." The man asks, "Where is Joe Biden's?" Jesus replies, "It's in my office-- I'm using it as a ceiling fan."
Roses are red, violets are blue, the stonks are high, and so are you.
Why does an orphan’s calendar only have 363 days?
There are no Father’s or Mother’s Days on their calendar.
Roses are red, my pencil is blunt.
A parrot trapped on a roof keeps telling the fire crew to f*ck off!
My sister told me she liked Medusa.
I said, "Huh?"
My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy's facial expression, and when they look down, they do nothing but stay still.
How are abortion and rape different? At least the rape victim usually deserves it and isn't defenseless.
What is the same with emos and orphans? They both are unwanted.
Why do an emo's parents not let them cook, because they are afraid they will cut themselves?
What does Michael Jackson ask little boys before going to bed? Are you sleeping?
Watersharky Music Productions Presents As It Was by Harry Styles.
Holdin' me back Gravity's holdin' me back I want you to hold out the palm of your hand Why don't we leave it at that?
Nothin' to say When everything gets in the way Seems you cannot be replaced And I'm the one who will stay, oh-oh-oh
In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was As it was, as it was You know it's not the same
Answer the phone "Harry, you're no good alone Why are you sitting at home on the floor? What kind of pills are you on?"
Ringin' the bell And nobody's coming to help Your daddy lives by himself He just wants to know that you're well, oh-oh-oh
In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was As it was, as it was You know it's not the same
Go home, get ahead, light-speed internet I don't wanna talk about the way that it was Leave America, two kids follow her I don't wanna talk about who's doin' it first.
My hemorrhoids are so bad, I’ve had toilet bowls that looked like abortions.
How do you break an orphan's wall in their room in the orphanage?
Tell them to put a tally on the wall with a pen for every second their parents are missing.
Are you with Alex?
Fucking retarded. Go dig a home die, people!
If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Emo kids are so good at kicking football. I hear they have good hang time.
Mommy, mommy! Are we liars?
"Shut up and cross your fingers when you say that."
Mommy, Mommy! Are we dragons?
Shut up and don’t breathe on the drapes.
Mommy, Mommy, are you an archer?
"Shut up and keep the apple on your head still."
Why do orphans hate Cocomelon?
Because his mom and dad are in every episode!
"Mommy, Mommy! Are we going to live forever?"
"Only in your dreams."