Ares jokes
All aboard the Magic School Bus! We are going to New York. The second tower has been hit.
These posts are brutal; they're leaving nothing left standing.
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
Roses are red, just like your lips.
Mountains are big, just like your tits.
Roses are red, Lemons are sour; Lift your skirt up and give me an hour.
Fat people are like the Twin Towers. Once they go down, they don’t come back up.
There are only 2 things I hate in this world:
1. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures. 2. The French.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims. They went through 67 stories in 0.67 milliseconds.
Why are there more female history teachers than male?
Because women like to bring up the past.
My girlfriend died in Tokyo during a tsunami. I was sad, but my friend told me, "Don't worry, there are plenty more in the ocean."
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
Roses are red, I need a broom, I just shit all over the bathroom.
"Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too."
What did a man say to his boy?
You are my son.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
My heart is dead.
I’m such a fool.
Why did I fall for you?
The girl asks her boyfriend, "Are you jealous of my heart?"
He says, "No."
She says, "Because it's pumping in me and you're not."
Why are people born in December, January, and February easy to get along with?
They're cool and chill.
How are boobs and toys similar?
Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.
The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: to be shot, to be hung, or to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.
So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he was dead instantly.
Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." Snap, he was dead.
Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.
Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.
Finally, the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"
The Irishman replied, "You guys are so stupid... I'm wearing a condom!"
A man wakes up and asks his wife, “Are you okay? You were cursing me all night in your sleep.” The wife replies, “Who says I was sleeping?”