Ares jokes

Lover

  • For all the talk of Donald Trump loving America, most of his lovers are imported from Eastern Europe.

  • 2
  • Black Hole

  • Stephen Hawking is better than NASA. They study black holes that are 8 billion years old, while he was down here on Earth staring at 14-year-old black holes. 😈😈😈

  • 4
  • Woman

  • Bill Clinton and Joe Biden are on a sinking ship.

    Joe Biden says we need to save the women and children. Bill Clinton says, "Screw the women and children." Joe Biden says, "Do we have that much time?"

  • 0
  • Music

  • If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.

    If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.

  • 1
  • white Americans

  • Just because someone is white doesn't mean they are bad.

    Sure, white Americans all treat Trump like a deity and are proud of their heritage of enslaving blacks.

    But Canadians and Australians don't throw a hissy fit every time they see someone not white, and they don't think Europe is a country.

  • 4
  • Bill Clinton

  • Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and George Washington are on a sinking ship.

    As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!”

    George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!”

    Bill Clinton asks excitedly: “Do we have time?”

  • 1
  • Brother

  • Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.

  • 1
  • Lady

  • Three ladies were on a flight when suddenly the captain announced, "Please prepare for a crash landing."

    The first lady put on all her jewelry. Surprised by this, the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady replied, "Well, when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich and will rescue me first." The second lady, not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, when they come to rescue us, they will see my great tits and will take me first." The third lady who was African, not wanting to be outdone, took off her pants and panties. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, they always search for the black box first."

  • 1
  • Genie

  • So, there's a black guy, a white guy, and a Mexican. They find a genie's lamp, they rub it, and poof! Appears the genie!

    The genie goes to the black guy and asks, "What's your one wish?" The black guy goes, "I wish for me and all my people to be back in Africa, happy and everything." So poof! His wish is granted.

    Then, the genie goes to the Mexican and asks, "What's your one wish?" The Mexican goes, "I wish for me and all my people to be in Mexico, happy and everything." So poof! His wish is granted.

    Now, the genie goes over to the white guy and asks, "What's your one wish?" and the white guy asks, "You mean to tell me that all the black and Mexican people are out of America?" The genie replies, "Yes."

    The white guy goes, "Then I'll have a Coke."

  • 1