Appliance Jokes

I sold my vacuum the other day.

All I got was dust and my mom's wig.

Me and Jesus are really close; he even turns the light on for me when I go pee in the middle of the night. Well, that is what I thought until the fridge was wet.

I called my mom on Alexa, and she told me, "Please take out the trash." I said, "But I can't, you're not here."

"Is your refiger running?"

"Is your refrigerator running? You better go catch it!"

What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? "I want you inside me."

Your mum so fat, she broke the stairs down to the fridge.

How do you make a dishwasher work again?

Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"

So, a mom and a dad take their son to a therapist.

“What seems to be the problem?” the therapist asked.

“Our son thinks he’s a refrigerator!” they said.

So the therapist replies, “Oh dear, that must be a problem.”

“Yeah, he sleeps with his mouth open, and the light is really bright.”

What is red, white, and goes round and round?

A baby in a blender.

When I found out that my toaster wasn’t waterproof, I was shocked.

What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?

The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.

I got stuck in the dryer again. Brother, say less.

I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.

So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.

My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!

Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?

I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...

What do you call a woman covered in mud? A dirty dishwasher.

What happens when you put a baby in a blender?

The baby is a cherry smoothie.

What's thick and has ice in it when you take it out of a blender?

A baby smoothie.

You make the juice go through my power brick.

What’s the difference between God and Hitler?

God made thousands of bread, Hitler made thousands of toast.