Appliance jokes
Why did ranch tell fridge to close the door?
He was dressing.
Wanna know what my favorite feeling is? Warmth. Fuck, I left the oven on!
What's thick and has ice in it when you take it out of a blender?
A baby smoothie.
When I found out that my toaster wasn’t waterproof, I was shocked.
What's the difference between a homo and a refrigerator?
A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out.
What's red and bubbly and scratches at the microwave glass?
A baby in the microwave!
"And the Lord said unto John, 'Come forth and receive eternal life,' but John came fifth and got a toaster."
What's black and screams? Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
"This vacuum sucks!"
Vacuum: "Yes, I do."
"Is your refiger running?"
"Is your refrigerator running? You better go catch it!"
What's white, red, and screams a lot?
A baby in a blender.
Where do you buy a dishwasher?
Hot singles in your area.
What is red, white, and goes round and round?
A baby in a blender.
What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?
Only one moans when I put my meat in it.
The Toaster: The best bath bomb!
What's the difference between an asshole and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What's the difference between a gay and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday.
I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
What did Pavol Demitra think before the Yaroslavl plane hit the ground?
"Oh shit, did I leave the stove on at home?"
I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again.