I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again.
What is red and cries and spins around and around? - A baby in a microwave.
How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plow?
Give her a shovel.
What do orphans and tvs have in common? At least one of them have a home
why did the fridge have lots of friends?
Cause it was COOL
What is the difference between a gay person and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator doesn’t start moaning and groaning when you try to put the meat in.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawkins and a refrigerator
-the fridge actually runs
what's the difference between a little boy and a freezer? the freezer doesn't scream when you put your meat in it
what happens when you put a baby in a blender
The baby is a cherry smoothie
I sold my vacuum the other day. All I got was dust and my moms wig
What’s the difference between God and Hitler? God made thousands Of bread, Hitler made thousands of toast
What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? "I want you inside me."
How do you make a dishwasher work again? Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"
What is red, white, and goes round and round? A baby in a blender.
When I found out that my toaster wasn’t waterproof, I was shocked.
I got stuck in the dryer again brother say less
What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl? The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhoea when you pull your meat out
My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?slap it on the arse and tell it to keep going
Why do brides wear white?
So the match the kitchen appliances
