Appliance jokes
What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.
What's all fuzzy, warm, and laughing? The person who snapped its neck and put it into the blender.
The Toaster: The best bath bomb!
How do you make a dishwasher work again?
Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine! Lol.
What's red, green, and goes 90 miles an hour?
A frog in a blender.
What is red and very rare?
A child in a blender.
What does a baby in a blender look like?
I don’t know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
Did you hear about the new German microwave? It has ten seats in it.
How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plow?
Give her a shovel.
What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?
Only one moans when I put my meat in it.
What's big and white and can't climb trees?
A fridge.
I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again.
Where do orphans shop for home appliances?
What do orphans and TVs have in common?
At least one of them has a home.
What's white, red, and screams a lot?
A baby in a blender.
What's the difference between a gay and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What do you get when you put a baby in a blender?
A boner.
What is the difference between a gay person and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator doesn’t start moaning and groaning when you try to put the meat in.
Why did the fridge have lots of friends?
Cause it was COOL.
What's red and bubbly and scratches at the microwave glass?
A baby in the microwave!