A man bought a brand new iPhone but returned it, why?
The apple was already bitten.
Why should you never fart in an Apple store?
Because they have no Windows!
Lil Johnny's teacher wanted to play an alphabet game, so she said, "What word starts with A?" Lil Johnny raised his hand fast, but she knew that he would say "ass," so she picked on Sally and she said, "Apple." She said, "What word starts with B?" Little Johnny raised his hand as fast as he could, but she knew that he would say something like "bitch," so she picked on Emmanuel and Emmanuel said, "Banana." She went all the way to W. Little Johnny raises hand as fast as he could again, and the teacher thought of a cuss word that could start with the letter W. She could not think of a cuss word that could start with W, so she called on Little Johnny. Little Johnny said, "Wow." The teacher said, "Good job." Then Little Johnny said, "Like wow, two elephants fucking!"
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
Have any of you guys heard the classic airplane jokes? Here's a good example...
A farmer, a doctor, and a terrorist are on a plane. An engine fails, and they are going to crash, so the pilot asks everyone to throw out some items. The farmer threw out his apple harvest, the doctor threw out medical supplies, and the terrorist, (not needing a bomb apparently) threw out his briefcase of bombs. They still crashed, and they started walking to the nearest town. They passed a boy who was running. "Why are you running?"
"My dad got hit by a shiny red object and now he's bleeding!"
They three of them decide it's best to keep quiet, and continue. They then passed a crying girl, who said that her brother had been killed by a scalpel from heaven. They said nothing and continued. Finally, they see a boy laughing so much he is in tears. They ask him, "What's so funny?"
"Grandma farted and the house blew up!"
Why did Bob go to the store? To bob for apples.
Which falls faster, an apple or an emo kid?
The apple, because the emo kid is hanging.
How do you call an iPhone cover in Germany?
An apple bag. 😜
Student asks teacher, "If I throw an apple and noodles, which one will fall first?"
Teacher replied, "I don't know."
Then student replied, "Noodles will fall first because noodles are fast foods!"
Are your parents bakers? Because you're a cutie pie.
Are you a loan? Because you've got my interest.
Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout!
If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.
Are you an artist? Because you’re really good at drawing me in.
I believe in following my dreams. Can I have your Instagram?
If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.
If you were a flower, you'd be a daaaaaamn-delion!
What do you get when you combine a planet and an apple?
Mario.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because there's no home.
What is the difference between an apple tray and an orphan? The apples get picked.
Who will hit the ground first, the girl or the apple?
I don't know, it depends if the girl is emo or not. If she is emo, the rope will catch her.
"Apple bottom cringe boots with the kek (with the kek) got the whole club looking at Shrek."
What do you call an iPhone put into a smoothie maker?--An Apple smoothie.
What’s the difference between a pig and Maddie McCann?
Least a pig had an apple in its mouth when it was spit roasted.
Sometimes I look around and all I see is two fat cheeks in my face and say, "Too mushy apples."
What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
Why does Apple logo depict 1 byte in the 21st century?
