Apple jokes
The other day all those toilet papers came by my house and asked do I have any crack candy. Naw, I don't have no damn crack candy or no crack apples. All I have here in the backyard is a peanut butter crack sandwich. Help yourself, and while you're at it, clean up all the damn doggie dodo that's everywhere. Thank you, Mr. Toilet Papers.
How many apples can you grow on a tree? All of them.
Q: What’s the difference between orphans and apples?
A: Apples get picked.
Your nose is so big that Apple had to make a custom iPhone that unlocks using Nose ID.
What hit the floor first, the emo or the apple? The apple, the rope stopped the emo.
I FAMOUS NOW GUYS
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apples get picked! 🤪
What did the corn say to the flying apple?
"That's corny."
Timmy has 5 apples.
His train is 7 minutes early.
Calculate the mass of the sun.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Well, at least one gets picked.
Okay, so I ate an apple and it tasted good.
You're an apple. Now suck my dick!
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple has a family tree.
How do you saw an apple with no mouth?
A P P L E
You wanna know what I have in common with an apple?
We BOTH look good hanging in a tree.
If you're ever bored, pee on an android. Apple is better!
I know this is a really bad poem, but I'll do it anyway 'cause I have nothing else to do.
'Twas so pretty a night, with people all asleep. Everyone's dreaming of that candy apple treat, and a palace. But alas! No, it's all a dream. Even eating ice cream, it's all a dream! Why can't I have this? Why can't I have that? BUT NO! It's just hitting you like a bat. YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE IT, you say to yourself. All for me, all for me, and et cetera. It goes on and on. But why wish for riches? You're already rich enough. If you have a device, then take my advise, if you were poor you would have spent the money on food, like honey, not something that... OF ALL THINGS IS GOOGLE!
Like I said, it's really bad. :(
What falls from the tree first, the autistic retard or the apple?
The apple, because the rope caught the autistic retard.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked. Lel. I hope you guys like this joke.
Why do apple trees like emo kids?
Because they like to play yoyo with them.
One time, I was making a caramel apple.
When I mistook 1 gallon of caramel for 1 camel!