Apple jokes
What did the corn say to the flying apple?
"That's corny."
How many apples can you grow on a tree? All of them.
Timmy has 5 apples.
His train is 7 minutes early.
Calculate the mass of the sun.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Well, at least one gets picked.
Okay, so I ate an apple and it tasted good.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple has a family tree.
You wanna know what I have in common with an apple?
We BOTH look good hanging in a tree.
How do you saw an apple with no mouth?
A P P L E
You're an apple. Now suck my dick!
What falls from the tree first, the autistic retard or the apple?
The apple, because the rope caught the autistic retard.
If you're ever bored, pee on an android. Apple is better!
I know this is a really bad poem, but I'll do it anyway 'cause I have nothing else to do.
'Twas so pretty a night, with people all asleep. Everyone's dreaming of that candy apple treat, and a palace. But alas! No, it's all a dream. Even eating ice cream, it's all a dream! Why can't I have this? Why can't I have that? BUT NO! It's just hitting you like a bat. YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE IT, you say to yourself. All for me, all for me, and et cetera. It goes on and on. But why wish for riches? You're already rich enough. If you have a device, then take my advise, if you were poor you would have spent the money on food, like honey, not something that... OF ALL THINGS IS GOOGLE!
Like I said, it's really bad. :(
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked. Lel. I hope you guys like this joke.
If an apple and a depressed kid fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? The apple.
The kid just hangs there.
What do you need an apple because you got an "izzy?"
One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?
What do you call a burning orphan in a wheelchair? Hot Wheels.
What hit the ground first, the orphan or the apple? The apple. The orphan never hit the ground.
I said I ate an apple because I was hungry.
If you get an apple a day, what does it give you?
Worms and rotten fruit.
What does iCloud eat for lunch?
Your documents.