Apple jokes
Why do you call a pineapple a pineapple?
Because it is a pineapple, pin, apple, apple, pen, doudodo.
A man bought a brand new iPhone but returned it, why?
The apple was already bitten.
You're an apple. Now suck my dick!
I saw a tree. I looked up, and there was an apple hanging. And then I said, "Wow, that guy is lucky!"
What's the difference between a black person and an apple?
An apple chooses to hang.
Mreow meow meow meow :3
Why should you never fart in an Apple store?
Because they have no Windows!
If you have 20 apples and you ate 2, how many do you have left?
0 because you have 20 and take away 2, you have 0 left.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
The other day all those toilet papers came by my house and asked do I have any crack candy. Naw, I don't have no damn crack candy or no crack apples. All I have here in the backyard is a peanut butter crack sandwich. Help yourself, and while you're at it, clean up all the damn doggie dodo that's everywhere. Thank you, Mr. Toilet Papers.
What do you call a burning orphan in a wheelchair? Hot Wheels.
What hit the ground first, the orphan or the apple? The apple. The orphan never hit the ground.
They say I’m sliced like the apples in a kids meal.
what came first, The apple or the girl? The apple, because the tree left her hanging :)
What's the difference between an apple and a black man?
Apples look better hanging on a tree.
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and my Dad?
Isaac Newton didn’t beat me half to death with a pipe wrench.
If you were a fruit, you’d be a ‘fine-apple.’
What falls from the tree first, the autistic retard or the apple?
The apple, because the rope caught the autistic retard.
What hit the floor first, the emo or the apple? The apple, the rope stopped the emo.
What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
What's the difference between an apple and an emo kid?
One falls, while the other hangs.
One time, I was making a caramel apple.
When I mistook 1 gallon of caramel for 1 camel!