Appearance jokes
A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! That's not going to help!" she said. "Sure it does," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."
Yo momma so fat, she glues together rags as clothes.
What do you call a fat midget?
A pig.
Yo mama is so ugly Bob the Builder said, "I can't fix that!"
Why's missy Shaw such a slug? Because she's obese. Hahahahahaha!
Yo mama so ugly that when she was born, the doctor looked at her face, then at her butt and said, "Twins!"
What do you call a fat Chinese man?
A double chinkey.
Yo mama so ugly that she turned Medusa to stone.
What are you going to have for a face when the baboon wants its butt back?
Donald Trump announced he will run for prez today. His hair will on Friday.
Someone said to me they like greasy food with gravy.
I said no wonder your forehead's so greasy.
What do you call a guy with a bald head who loves to eat biscuits, raisins, and caster sugar?
Gary Baldy (Garibaldi)!
Your momma is so ugly that she went out as herself for Halloween.
Kim Jong-Un thicc af.
Wanna hear a joke?
Your face.
Your face.
Yo momma so short... You can see her feet on her driver's license photo!
Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.
Want to hear a joke?
Your face.
I have 3 eyes, 2 ears, and 6 mouths, what am I?
UGLY!