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Appearance jokes

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Emoji

  • My friend texted me and asked me, "Hey. What's your favorite emoji?"

    I said, "😬😬😬😬😬😬😬"

    She said, "Why?"

    I said, "'Cause it's your twin."

    Bathroom scale

  • A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! That's not going to help!" she said. "Sure it does," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."

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    Yo mama

  • Yo mama so ugly that when she was born, the doctor looked at her face, then at her butt and said, "Twins!"

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  • Face

  • What are you going to have for a face when the baboon wants its butt back?

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    Guy

  • What do you call a guy with a bald head who loves to eat biscuits, raisins, and caster sugar?

    Gary Baldy (Garibaldi)!

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