Anything jokes
If I agreed with Leo, then that wouldn’t solve anything. It would just make BOTH of us dumb.
Why isn't Hilary Duff interested in education?
A. She said that she was not interested in learning about anything that was so yesterday.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair?
Anything they can't catch you.
What is red, orange, and yellow but doesn’t feel anything when it falls? Autumn leaves. 🍁
MU, I love your joke, but I cut myself a piece of cake, pie, steak, cheesecake, and anything else I can find.
What do you call a dead polar bear?
Anything, they can't hear you!
What kind of food does a lesbian love? Anything they can eat out.
What do you call an emo kid standing outside the mall?
Anything, he'll cry no matter what you say.
Hello guys. It's me, Donald fuckin' Trump. Ask me anything in the comments, guys.
"Pretend me please stop! I don't recall posting anything except commenting and posting something for Jordan C! Please stop!"
Okay, Gwen, I'll be offline for a while... so if anyone by my name types anything, it's a fake. The only way you know it's me is if I say one of my nicknames. Okay, so yeah, take care of my account while I'm gone. BYE!!!!
"I want to know who this fake me is! I haven't even posted or commented on anything bad or said a curse. I am very kindly asking you to stop."
Teacher to Student: You are supposed to be here at 9 am!
Student: Oh, did I miss anything?
My uncle is a horrible ventriloquist. He put his hand up my butt, but he told me NOT to say anything.
Q. What do you call a baby with anencephaly? A. Anything you want, it's not like it's gonna answer you.
I hope I'm not a big pain, but Jordan C, please stop bothering me about my age! I know I am 8 years old, but enough.
Then you make jokes about how smart I am and intimidate me because of my name. I don't remember intimidating you for anything. So please, with all due respect, stop.
PS It's not for drama, it's because you're bullying me for nothing. I come here just to joke or be nice to people, not for the drama. So please again. Stop. That is all I ask.
Thank you.
If you are a student at law school, a law professor can charge you up to $98,998.00 for one semester.
If the law professor is very late and is not punctual to teach you anything about law in his class, should a law student be able to charge the law professor a certain amount of money for not being able to teach his class because he is off task and not being punctual? Is your time precious too?
If the law professor is Polish, now you know the reason why you should never go to a law school that has a "dumb polack" for a law professor.
Sorry for your luck; it sucks to be you!
A man's daughter comes home from school and asks her dad if she can borrow the car.
The father replies, "No, it's too late at night."
The daughter says, "C'mon, Dad. I'll do anything."
The dad says, "OK, suck my dick."
The daughter says, "No, that's disgusting."
The dad says, "You want the car. You said you'll do anything."
The daughter agrees. Just as she is about to put her father's dick into her mouth, she stops and says, "Eww, Dad, your dick smells like shit."
The dad replies, "Yeah, well, your brother borrowed the car about an hour ago."
This morning, I was having a conversation with my ex-boyfriend about reincarnation. I said to him, "If you could come back in the next life as anything, what would you come back as?" He thought about it for a minute and says, "A tree. That way, everybody can look at me and admire me."
Then he says the same thing to me. I started thinking about it when these two sexy, half-naked studs walked by. One was a jock, the other on his bicycle. I know I said I want to come back as a jockstrap or a bicycle seat, but knowing my luck, I'll come back as a tampon.
"What do you want to eat?"
"You choose."
"Children."
"What?"
*Picks up pot*
"You said anything!"