Anti

Anti Jokes

School

One day, I came home from school and said to my dad, "I got expelled from school today." He said, "How?" I said, "I threw my book at the teacher." He asked, "Why?" I told him, "We were doing an anti-bullying program, and my teacher said words can't hurt me, so I threw my dictionary at her."

Memes

Man

A Person that puts a RickRoll in a book is actually the hero we all needed...

A page of text detailing the life and work of Niels Bohr, a prominent figure in physics.

Kid

How can you tell an anti-vaccine kid?

It's only got 10 hours to live.

Albert Einstein

When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his driver (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.

“I have an idea, boss,” his driver said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.” Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”

When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the driver's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The driver gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.

Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the driver fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my driver, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”

Book

I’m reading a book about Anti-Gravity. It’s impossible to put down!

Pig

What's the difference between a cow and a pig?

One is a pig.

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  • Burger

    Why did your friend eat the burger?

    Because he wanted to murder all burgers and was starting with this one!

    Not really. He was just hungry.

    Penguin

    A penguin walks into a bar. The bartender says, "So what will it be this time?" The penguin doesn't answer because it's a penguin.

    Baby

    What's meaner than taking candy from a baby?

    Throwing the baby off a cliff.

    Book

    Have you heard of the new book about anti-gravity?

    Well, I just can't seem to put it down.

    Mood

    You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. For example, if she's holding a gun, she's probably angry.

    Donald Trump

    Donald Trump is proudly anti-woke. He has been falling asleep in his court cases every morning!

    Your move, Ron DeSantis.