What does a duck and a tablespoon have in common? Both are not a lamp.
What do your teacher and your friend have in common?
They will both die eventually.
Why did the man with no arms fall off his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him.
Biggest lie ever told: it was the cat.
Why aren't dogs known as carrots? Because they aren't.
What did the doctor say to the mother after delivering the baby? Sorry.
What's meaner than taking candy from a baby? Throwing the baby off a cliff.
A penguin walks into a bar. The bartender says, "So what will it be this time?" The penguin doesn't answer because it's a penguin.
Fun fact! If you steal your sister's cat, she will be mad.
What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.
Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.
Fact: If you jump off a 12 story building, you will not like the result.
Why can't a little girl fly? She doesn't have the proper motivation.
What do a moose and a triceratops have in common? Both have noses.
What do you call a white board that is dirty? A dirty white board.
Joke
Did you hear about the elephant with no nose?! Me neither.
What did the skeleton pull out from behind his ear?
Nothing, Skeletons don’t have ears
What does a skeleton tile his roof with?
Tiles
Wtf did you think he’d it with
Vital information: if you find a stray dog in an alleyway, don't stare at it's eyes.
Why are monkeys funny? Because they look weird.
