ANS jokes
My friend had an allergic reaction after he ate a peanut.
We got his EpiPen to help him when Penaldo appeared because he heard the word "PEN". He tried stealing the pen, but I said, "No pens for you," and "Brentford". He cried and ran away. Shame on you, Penaldo the fraud!
An emo tried to give me a high five...
I left him hanging.
I was on an orphan's website, but I pressed on his profile and realized he had no home page.
What show does an orphan hate? Family Feud.
What’s the difference between an orphan and cotton? One gets picked.
Was invited to the inauguration of an I-pad.
We were all ready to begin the event. I was supposed to cut the ribbons, but before I could do that, Penaldo jumped outta nowhere and shouted, "I DON'T WANT I-PAD, I ONLY WANT TO STATPAD!"
Shame on Penaldo for ruining the event! 😡
"You're an orphan forever," - Harry Potter.
What's the difference between an onion and a baby? I only tear up cutting the onion.
Person A: What do you call the dangly bit of an octopus?
Person B: Tentacles?
Person A: Ok *tickles person B ten times*
A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."
The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks Dad," the son says.
The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
Why can't an orphan watch the movie:
It was family rated.
A cock really has a sad life. He's hairs a mess, his neighbor's an arsehole, his best friend is a cunt.
What's an orphan's favorite song?
"Gimme Shelter."
What's an orphan's least favorite game?
Baseball because they can't find home plate.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What's an EMO's favorite game?...... DARK SOULS
What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show?
Family Guy.
What's the main similarity between an elementary school math class and the USA?
The class divides.
Why can't an orphan be gay? It has no one to call daddy.
My mom asked me if I was okay, so I replied, "I will be," and jumped out the window!