ANS jokes

What do you call an orphan family photo?

A selfie.

Why can't an orphan be gay? It has no one to call daddy.

My mom asked me if I was okay, so I replied, "I will be," and jumped out the window!

What's the difference between an apple and a child?

The apple gets picked.

What kind of bath bomb does an emo person use?

A toaster.

TEST QUESTION: what looks like half an apple?

My cousin: the other half.

I have an exam next week, so I called my ex and asked if she had any cheating tips.

So yesterday, I was at an orphanage, harassing children by twerking at them.

They burst into tears.

I was worried that they would call their mom, well... um... I got away.

I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.

What show does an orphan hate? Family Feud.

What's the difference between an onion and a baby? I only tear up cutting the onion.

What’s the difference between an orphan and cotton? One gets picked.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show?

Family Guy.

What's the main similarity between an elementary school math class and the USA?

The class divides.

Boy Scout...

- A kid who dressed like an idiot.

- An idiot who dressed like a kid.

What instrument can a skeleton never play?

An organ.

My son, who is into astronomy, asked me how stars die. I said, "Usually from an overdose."

What’s an orphan's favorite Marvel film?

Spider-Man: Far From Home.

What do you call an Indian lesbian?

Mingeeta.

A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."

The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."

"Thanks Dad," the son says.

The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."