ANS jokes
Why can't an orphan get caught on the hub? They have no parents to catch them.
An Ob-Gyn asks a lady to put her feet up on the stirrups.
Doctor: My God, you have the biggest vagina I’ve ever seen!
Woman: You don’t have to say that twice.
Doctor: I didn’t.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
They can’t find home.
Shut the f*** up, I am an orphan!
Trump cheated so much he cheated himself out of an election!
If you ever get mad, just punch an orphan. What are they supposed to do? Tell their parents?
What is an emo's favorite game?
Hangman.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
My cousin: Brother, I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile; however, I left it as it is].
Me: So tell me about it then.
My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi.
Me: Somebody? Don’t they have, like, the name of you opponents?
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I.
Me: Ok, my bad. Continue.
My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi, and 5 seconds later, I got kill[ed] by Sum_Fing_Wong.
Me: It’s not wrong! In Call of Duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed.
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G.
Me: My bad again. Do continue.
My cousin: I got so angry I blow[ed] up.
Me: So you got blowed up, by what weapon?
My cousin: By the game.
Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]
Name one person who would take an orphan?
Michael Jackson, so they can play all night.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked, and the other doesn't.
This is an a-maze-ing joke!
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men, said "Fuck him, he's only an egg."
It's been an hour since I crashed the tower.
There is a really, really small guy and his name is Adam, so I say, "Hey, look, it's an atom!"
A rich man paid for a trip to space, but he couldn't go because the rocket was damaged. He received a refund and an apology.
What do you call something that eats kids?
An upset mother.
A priest is struck by lightning and lays hurt on the ground.
When medical crew arrives he denies them, saying, "God will surely save me!"
The medical team tries to help him, but he keeps struggling and eventually dies.
Later in the afterlife, he screams at God, saying, "Why didn't you save me? Am I not dear to you?"
God answered, "B****, I sent you a f***ing ambulance and you denied it!"
What’s the difference between an orphan and Pikachu?
Pikachu, I choose you!
I punched an orphan, and he told me to leave him alone. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"