ANS jokes
So, I went up to an Australian girl. She looked like she was 20, and I said, "Can I have your phone number, sweetheart?" She said, "696969." I said, "Oh, haha, okay." A few days later, her mother called me and said she's 15.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked. Lel. I hope you guys like this joke.
Why can’t someone say "ur mums gay" to an orphan? Because he doesn’t have a mum.
When a bomb goes off, they call it an explosion.
When Keemstar exposes someone, they call it an exposion.
What do you call the type of photo an orphan takes?
A selfie.
What do you call a skeleton's egg?
An egg-i-BONE!
Why did the ox get kicked out of the herd?
Because it wasn't being an ox, it was being a butt-ox...!
What language do people at the center of the Earth speak?
Core-an (Korean)
One day a woman met with a man behind an abandoned shop.
The man asked for some crack.
The woman turned around and said, "Here."
That's where the crack was, you guessed it.
The next day, she wiped it clean, ready for the next guest who "wanted crack."
Q: What do you call an elephant that isn't important?
A: My sister.
Superman has been called to a huge house fire.
Superman: "There you are ma'am, everyone out and all safe!"
Mother: "But my children are still inside! You need to go back an--"
Superman: "Ah fuck'em..."
When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.
Your mom is so fat she ate an iPad and said, "Ahqah!" funny food mmm banana and hehe haha! And what deal with airline food? It's not white and it's not black and it's not Asian!? AHAH? DSF
Q. What's an emo's favorite type of comedy?
A. Gallows humor.
What do you call an orphan with a gun?
(No) home shooter.
I used to be emo, but I don't cut myself to solve my problems anymore.
I just drink a bunch of liquor like an adult.
Q. What's an aborted baby's favourite type of humor? A. ...
Q' What's an Alzheimer's victim's favorite type of comedy?
A. I forget.
Why can you rub a dog's nose in their pee when they go on the carpet but when I do the same to an Alzheimer's patient I get fired from the nursing home?
There's nothing stronger than love, except for an M32 Rotary Grenade Launcher because fuck you and everyone near you.