ANS jokes
What's the fastest thing on earth?
An Ethiopian with a McDonald's Voucher.
Why was Helen Keller truly an inspiration?
She learned how to read and write despite being from Alabama!
As an Autist, I find these jokes really funny. Thanks for the early 13th birthday present, ya'll :>
What did Hitler get for his 6th birthday?
A Kewpie burger and an Easy-Bake Oven.
What do you call sex in the World Trade Center?
An inside job.
This definitely works
Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me," the answer to that is, "That's the point."
What's the difference between an orphan and a Chinese kid?
The Chinese kid has a home.
What can jump higher than a basketball player?
An emo kid, they never touch the ground.
Three blonde sisters die and are told by an angel that in order for them to go to heaven they have to pass all 100 steps. But each step has a joke, each joke gets funnier and funnier. And in order to pass them all, you can't laugh at any joke or else you go to hell. The blonde girls accept the offer.
So the angel begins telling them the jokes. One of the girls laughs at the 3rd step. The second blonde laughs halfway there. Finally, the last blonde was at the 100th step. The angel said, "This is the last step. If you laugh you will go straight to hell with your sisters and if you don't you can pass." The blonde agrees and the angel starts to tell the joke, "What do you ca..." Out of nowhere the blonde starts bursting out laughing. "Why are you laughing? I haven't even finished the joke yet!" The blonde replies, "I just got the first joke!"
Me at an orphanage: I need to talk.
Orphan: My parents!
Me: You know that word?
What's an orphan's least favorite film? Family Guy.
Yesterday I asked an emo girl if she's jealous when her phone dies.
Once a woman suspected that her husband was fucking their daughter at night. So she made a plan. That night, she gave her daughter sleeping pills and told her husband that you go to sleep, I have a headache and I will sleep on the sofa in the drawing room today. After everyone slept, she picked up her sleeping daughter and laid her on the sofa and went to her bed and lay down. After an hour, the door of the room opened and one man entered the room and jumped on the bed and fucked her intensely for 2 hours. Then she turned on the light with the bed switch and said, "You definitely didn't expect me." "I definitely didn't expect you, MOM! But you are more delicious than sister"! Her son replied in surprise!
Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Like if you meet someone emo.
Do you know what is good about being an orphan?
Every candy bar is family sized.
What does an electric-type Pokémon say when they get gassy while drinking milk?
I’m Zaptos intolerant!
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang.
What is an orphan's least favorite movie?
Home.
Do you know why there are no pharmacies and pharmacists in Africa?
Because you can't take pills on an empty stomach!