ANS jokes
What do you call someone with notorious special needs and an extra chromosome?
The double trouble.
What is an orphan's favorite video game?
"Who's Your Daddy?"
I went to go mine for some gold, but then I saw some shorts.
Friend: "Your jokes are too short."
Me: "Zip it, my jokes are always golden."
Friend: "You're such an ingot, don't forget your jokes are always Aurum."
Me: "I know my jokes are Aurum; it's always because I always glitz."
Friend: "At least I have luminescent" (Get it? Lu mines cent)
Why was Stephen Hawking's wife mad at him?
She caught him having an affair with his shoulder.
What is an orange cucumber?
A carrot, duh!
Miss Drake, can I go to the bathroom? I need to piss.
"Billy, we don't say piss. We say urinate. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Miss Drake."
"Very well. Now use the word urinate in a sentence."
"Miss Drake, urinate, but if you had any tits you'd be a ten."
What do you call an angry Panera Bread?
Panera slapped!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
I wish I could follow you, though.
But you need an account so I could follow you, but you don't have one. :'(
You are so dumb.
What do you call an orphan?
A bootysnagger45.
What's an emo's favorite time of year?
Fall.
A man who desperately wanted to be good after serving time in prison was visited by an Angel. "You want to change? You can still enter heaven on two conditions. You must bet on the horses with any money you have and pass your winnings to someone less fortunate, and you must never hold on to any beef." The Angel then disappeared.
The man did as was told and became generous and kind. As he emerged from the betting office with all his money, he would pass every penny of it all to a deserving person each and every time.
He, however, couldn't seem to avoid meat and would still eat it no matter what.
When he died, the Angel came back for him.
"But I'm undeserving; I can't come with you," he said.
"Yes, you can," replied the Angel, "you gave all your stake (steak) away."
Technoblade says, "Punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?"
One time my dad was an orphan, so I questioned where he learned to parent.
If I busted an egg on your head... The yolk would be on you... hahaha...
What do you call a person who keeps making jokes about rappers?
An annoying prick whose black dad left him as a kid.
What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.
Why can't an orphan play football? Because they can't find home or return it.
What do you call an expert fisherman? A "MASTER-BAITER".