ANS jokes

Q: What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? A: Apples get picked.

Dad: What's the difference between an ELEPHANT and a POSTBOX?

Son: I don't know.

Dad: I'd better not trust you with my post then.

Best part about being an orphan?

Not spending 1h30 at the table every night with your dad yelling, "What's 2*3?!!" And you crying, "I don't know!!!"

What do you call butter without an expiration date?

A miracle butter, because wow!

What is an orphan's favorite movie?

"Home Alone."

If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan because what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Q: How to hit an orphan?

A: Hit them with a family tree.

Why does Job have an Area 51 head? Because his head is the shape of a 🦖.

How do you saw an apple with no mouth?

A P P L E

A blonde went to an HIV test. When she came back, she said, “The doctors say that I’m all positive!”

Superman has been called to a huge house fire.

Superman: "There you are ma'am, everyone out and all safe!"

Mother: "But my children are still inside! You need to go back an--"

Superman: "Ah fuck'em..."

We are drunk at the party. There was an ass-ton of drunk girls there with me.

You can't put an orphan on house arrest if there isn't a house to arrest them to.

You wanna know what I have in common with an apple?

We BOTH look good hanging in a tree.

What's an orphan's favorite movie? Home Alone.

Q: What is the difference between a dead body and an orphan?

A: The dead body had a family.

Moose jokes, why did the moose fly with an airplane? Because it was a skoose.

What's the difference between a grape and an elephant?

I don't know, what?

They are both purple except for the elephant.

What bumps up and down at 100km an hour?

A baby tied to the back of a speeding truck.

My dick is like the way home for an orphan, its length is never-ending.