ANS jokes
There are three people on an island. One dies, and the second guy goes to bury them. He comes back with deer meat. The first guy eats it, but the second guy refuses the meal.
When the men return to the mainland, they part ways. The first man goes to eat the deer again at a local restaurant. He takes one bite, then jumps off a bridge.
In heaven, an angel asks him why.
“Well you see,” he answered, “that man was a tribal cannibal. Delicious in my wife’s meat, though.”
I saw a guy beat his girlfriend to a pulp after his girlfriend threw a phone in his face. I offered to call an ambulance, but he said he was fine.
I love how all these jokes about different accidents have happened, but why isn't anyone writing about how much of an accident we all were?
I had a disability where I kept pronouncing my "g" as an "r", so one day, I said I liked grapes. Of course, I pronounced it "I like rapes." I was kicked out of preschool.
When you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What do you call an Arab flying a plane?
A pilot.
You racist fuck!
Want to hear an abortion joke, or any joke for that matter? You have that option, and you can thank your mother for that.
But that's a question that will never be heard by an aborted unborn baby, whose only option was death. And that's no joke.
If you punch an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?
What's the difference between an American police man and a Christian?
At least a Christian kneels in church.
Lady: I am going to come to your house.
Man: Ok.
An hour later, the lady is at the man's house. The man meets her outside of the house.
Man: You are going to cum to my house!
And then he fucks her.
What do you call an Asian that steals cars? Tommy toke a motor.
"Rapeboat" has six fingers on each hand and one big eyebrow. Signs of inbreeding.
People who wannabe rich and famous rappers should always look at Tekashi 6ix9ine, and learn what not to do.
What does a crooked lawyer who is not on the ACLU payroll have in common with a crooked politician who has an office in Washington, DC?
They both sign their names using a blue pen 🖊 🖊.
What’s the first thing you should do if an epileptic is having a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in your dirty laundry!
What kind of fish knows how to do an appendectomy? A sturgeon!
How do you cook an alligator? With a croc-pot.
What's a zebra? A couple sizes bigger than an A.
I dated a girl, and I didn’t know she was previously in an abusive relationship.
I thought she just REALLY hated high-fives.
What do you call a person who keeps making jokes about rappers?
An annoying prick whose black dad left him as a kid.