ANS jokes
What is black and white and red all over? An exploding zebra!
Chuck Norris can make an omelet from Kinder surprise.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who?
Who who, I'm an owl.
I know this isn't an orphan joke, but I didn't know where to say it, so yeah.
I threw a nut at the allergy table and screamed, "YES, TRIPLE KILL!"
Nobody likes you because you are an orphan.
What is an orphan's least favorite movie?
Spider-Man, because it told them there was no way home.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball??
They can’t hit a home run! 😂
What song does an orphan hate?
"We Are Family."
Chesley, in horror, runs out of the cockpit of the plane coming from London, "I'm so very sorry, everyone. I punched the wrong buttons, and we are heading to DC instead of New York, and we are about to run out of fuel." He opens the door and turns around to the five passengers and exclaimed, "I've parachutes but miscounted. We only got four for the passengers." He jumps off.
Donald faced the other four and orders:
"I'm the greatest leader of the world, and I'll make the decision. Tony, you go first. Our country needs you. The whole wide world needs you. Pandemic is raging."
Tony jumps off.
"Francis, my friend, you go next. Pandemic is ravaging the mind and body of millions. Their soul needs saving. Save Vladimir's and Xi's for me."
Francis jumps off.
Hillary faced Donald furiously. "Who are you to make decisions for us? I should have been president. I'm the smartest woman in the whole world in history."
Hillary jumps off.
Donald gazed at the young woman and started talking: "I'm an old man. I have already lived a full life - beautiful wives, children, just a beautiful life. Just beautiful. I've become president of the most powerful country, the most beautiful, the richest. Regrets? I've made a few but did it my way. Greta, go on. Your future is bright. I just wish I can make my country great again and have the chance to help save the world with you. I believe in second chances. Look at my bankruptcies, believe me. And I wish I've played more golf and..."
Greta interjected, "Just shut the f* up. The plane is about to crash. Let's go and save the world. The smartest woman in history took my backpack!"
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked, and the other doesn't.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
What do you call an asian kid who's bad at math?
An orphan.
What's an emo's favorite part about being dunked?
The hangover.
Bo: Hey kids, I am so sad that you won’t exercise and give me Bo power, so I am just going to be an orphan.
Kids changing the channel to Annie.
Annie: Tomorrow, tomorrow, only a day away.
TV changing the channel back to Bo On The Go.
Dezzy: WAAAAAAAAAA, I can’t find Bo!
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite school event? Homecoming!
I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, because I need new parts for my go-kart.
There is a really, really small guy and his name is Adam, so I say, "Hey, look, it's an atom!"
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
When can an elephant use an umbrella and not get wet?
When it's not raining.