ANS jokes
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because it doesn't know where home base is.
God promised John that if he came in 1st, he would get an eternal life, but instead he came in 5th and got a kettle!
There's an orphan in my class... For some reason, he never leaves.
If two people who have the clap sleep together, did they make an applause?
What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? An extraction.
If you’re bored, just punch an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What's the number one thing in an orphan's search history?
"How to find a family."
Q: What's an orphan's favorite porn site?
A: Motherless.
My local pet store sells prong collars to get dogs to behave.
But when I tried them on an Alzheimer's patient, I got fired from the nursing home.
You'd think with Jason being a pastor's kid, his parents would have gotten him Invisalign.
And an exorcism.
You were probably voted "Most Likely to Become an Ice agent" in school.
Yo momma's an ICE agent!
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.
What's a saying you shouldn't tell an epileptic?
Seize your moment.
Today is Elder Abuse Awareness Day.
Unfortunately, they're still not giving lessons on how to beat an annoying Alzheimer's patient without leaving a mark.
LEGO Ninjago - I like it, okay?
Which of the ninja would be best for an undercover mission as the person in disguise?
Kai. He just has to leave his hair down and no one would know it was him. He uses hair gel, as Cole has said a couple times I think, because his hair looks like fire 🔥!
My Grandma, like any other, got an APPLE IPHONE 12, but as we all know, we get dumb, and so we buy a phone. My grandma did not even know how to use it. She even said, "How do I go on Google?" I told her, "YOU CAN'T!" My grandma was, like, "Yeah right, how do I do it?"
Comment down below, does your grandma do this?
A man comes to an assassin who charges $1000 per shot. He tells the assassin, "My wife's been cheating on me. I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot the guy in the dick." When they arrive, they wait. The man asks why he hasn't taken the shot. The assassin says, "I know how I can save you $1000."
An old woman walks into an outdoor supplies store.
"I'd like an infrared gorilla," she says.
The clerk proceeds to give her an infrared gorilla from the back room.
"We've had hundreds of these things in the back for ages," exclaims the clerk. "You're the first person who's actually wanted one."
A professional golfer driving his Porsche picked up an Irish girl hitchhiker. He had his golfing gear on the back seat. The Irish girl picked up something and asked, "What are these?"
"Those are tees," he said. "I rest my balls on them when I drive."
"Wow!" said the girl. "What will those car makers think of next!"