ANS jokes
What do you get when you beat up an autistic kid?
Mashed potatoes.
A man sacrificed children who played Roblox, so when someone knocked on the door, they said, "An administrator has banned you from heaven!"
I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me.
She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.
Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys. I asked and she said that’s my fam as well. I noticed an Alabama driver's license. I asked which one was her dad. She said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter. I casually asked what he did for work. Self-employed? She said that’s the last time I use ancestry.com!
What if you put a scared homosexual guy and an angry homophobic guy inside a stable?
Hmm, let's see, if the homosexual guy has some good luck, maybe he will meet a super unicorn and help him out to defeat the angry homophobic guy :D
What is the difference between an American and a computer?
An American doesn’t have trouble shooting.
What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?
Quarter pounder with cheese.
Hey guys! Ello here with an update!
I know I haven't been doing a lot of jokes lately, so I will make sure to do that, but I have something to say! I am going to Disneyland today!! So here is the plan. Today we are going to leave around 2 and go to Downtown Disney for dinner and check into our hotel and stuff like that. Then we are going to wake up bright and early tomorrow and go to Disneyland and stay 'til midnight, and then on Monday we are going to California Adventure! I am missing school on Monday! I'm so excited! And don't worry, I will make sure to tell you guys all about it when we get back. Love y'all!
An orphan and a homeless man get into a fight, so he yells in a mirror.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple can trace back its family tree.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back.
What's the difference between a mole and an eagle?
They both live underground, except for the eagle.
The parents who left their kids on the side of the road should have thought twice and got an abortion.
Name one person who would take an orphan?
Michael Jackson, so they can play all night.
What's the difference between an orphan and an orange?
One gets picked.
What do you call somebody in America that is smart?
An immigrant.
Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they have no one to call "daddy."
If an orange is called an orange, why isn’t a lemon called a yellow?
What do you call an imposter octopus?
Octosus.
Titanic didn't sink by an iceberg.
Titanic sank by 100000000000000000000000 Titanics.
Why is an orphan gay? Because they can call somebody "daddy."