ANS jokes
Me: Why am I an orphan?
Friend: I don't know.
Me: Ask your mom.
What's an orphan's family photo?
A selfie.
An orphan walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Buddy, you have to go home." The orphan replies, "Where is home?"
Being bullied by an artist? Want them to leave you alone?
www.VincentVanGoghAway.com
Why did the boy put a chicken 🐔 in his garden?
He wanted to grow an eggplant. 😂
neeeow
What’s the difference between an epileptic corn shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea?
The epileptic corn shucker “shucks between fits”...
My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...
What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?
Slick her hair back, she looks 15.
The real reason women are always cold is because they’re not in front of a stove or an oven. So, naturally, when they leave the habitat, they need to have two blankets.
"You have your entire life to be an idiot. Why not take today off?"
What do you call an autistic My Little Pony?
Twilight Special.
What do you call an alligator that reads maps? Navigator.
A kid and an apple fall from a tree, who will reach the ground first?
The apple, because the kid is hanging on the tree with a rope.
How does an artist fill in a CV?
He draws on experience.
What do you call an orphan fish?
Self-ish.
People are like trees...
If you hit them with an ax multiple times, they'll fall over.
Why is the iPhone X the perfect phone for an orphan?
Because there is no home button.
What is an orphan's favorite time with his family?
"Me time."
The teacher once said to some students, "I was an orphan before your principal hired me."
The students said, "Oof, that is sad."
The teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance. She said, "Is anyone missing?"
The students said, "Your parents."
The teacher got offended and later that day quit her job.
Man, don't you hate it when you hit a speed bump by an orphanage but then realize there's no speed bumps here...