ANS jokes
If an athlete gets athlete's foot... What does an astronaut get? Mistletoe!
How can you tell if someone Amish is an alcoholic? They keep falling off the wagon.
Q: What do pedophiles use for allergic reactions?
A: An Epstein pen.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
What do you call a cow that was hit by an anvil? A flat iron steak.
Shresh
Are you a builder, because you give me an erection.
What is an emo kid's favorite game?
Hangman.
What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan? The apples get picked.
Do trees pee?
How else do we have No. 1 pencils?
My entire family "TAKE THIS GIRL TO AN ASYLUM!!!"
Me "OH NO" 💀
What's the number one thing in an orphan's search history?
"How to find a family."
I saw this kid on the street wearing a rag. I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
What does an orphan and a banana have in common? They both get split up.
An orphan finds a genie.
Orphan: "My first wish is to be rich."
Genie: "Of course."
Orphan: "My second wish is to be famous."
Genie: "Done."
Orphan: "I wish my parents could come back!"
Genie: "I told you I can't bring people back from the dead!"
A girl kept looking through the window whilst the boys got changed!
I, as a boy, was getting annoyed, so I found an interesting magazine in the corner. So, what did I do? Reload and fire!
My sister: See you at home in about an hour.
Me: Okay.
My sister: Sister, where are you? *She looks out the window.*
Me: Sis, I'm here, can't you see me?
Sister: OMG, she's dead!
Me: Yeah, I know, but can't you see me?
I was working in an iPhone store in Norwich when a man came! He said, "Give me a hat-trick or I will destroy your store!" I said, "No," and he started to smash phones! I immediately screamed, "Important game!" and he disappeared! Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my store! 😡😡
Why did an orphan say, "I'm wanted?" Because they wanted to feel a lie in their life.
What's an astronaut's favorite candy? A Milky Way!
What's an alien's favorite computer key?
The space bar!
What's the difference between a prisoner and an orphan?
One is loved.