ANS jokes
I had an Alzheimer's joke, but something's fogging up my mind.
I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad's half sister.
I went over to a crying child and said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at an orphanage!
What is the difference between an orphan and a criminal?
Only one is wanted.
How do you leave an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow!
What do you call an old black person? Farming antique.
What is the difference between an orphan's dad and a boomerang?
Oh... one comes back.
What kind of beer is an orphan's favorite?
Foster's!
What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.
Chuck Norris can kick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you've ever had.
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?
An RCXD (remote control explosive).
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person? "What's bringing you down?"
I work at a bank and an old woman asked me to check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
What's the most common thing between Hitler and an emo?
Hitler knows when to kill himself!
Shut the f*** up, I am an orphan!
How do you call an American bee?
USB.
Fuck all y'all hoes!
A vampire goes to the bakery.
Vampire: "One bun, please."
Baker: "But you're a vampire, don't you need blood?"
Vampire: "Yes, there is an accident outside and I need something to dip."
How do you know an abo robbed your house?
The bins (trash cans) are empty and the dog is pregnant.
Three men were going for a drive through the desert. An hour later, the car breaks down. They all take something from the car to keep themselves cool as they walk to the nearest gas station a few miles back.
One guy grabs a hand-held fan. Another guy grabs the jug of water. The last guy takes the car door off. About 15 minutes into walking, the other two are giving the one guy weird looks. Finally, one of them asks why he is taking the car door. The third guy just replies that whenever he gets hot he can just roll down the window.