ANS jokes

What do you call people who have an Oedipus complex?

Motherfuckers.

What actor does an orphan hate?

Vin Diesel.

Why is it bad to high five an emo?

They will leave themselves hanging.

You can't call yourself a baby boomer if you have never detonated an infant.

I was in an audition for the lead role of movie "Aquaman." The Director told me to dive into a pool. Then outta nowhere Penaldo showed up and made a big dive into the pool. The director was impressed and selected Penaldo for the movie.

Shame on you Penaldo for destroying my dream!

I was reading a book about an immortal dog, it was impossible to put down.

Q: What does encyclopedia mean by cut them in triple?

A: Encyclopedia, more like "An Cyclone Media!"

An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."

A homeless kid once said he will go home.

Here’s one for the Aussies: What’s the difference between an echidna and a police car? All the pricks are on the inside.

I was raised as an only child, which I think was hard for my brother.

What's the similarity between gay men and an ambulance?

They both take it in the back and go woop woop.

What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.

An emo girl jumped out of a tree at the same time a feather fell to the ground... What hit the ground first?

The feather, the girl was stopped by a rope.

What goes down but not up?

An emo.

Ooohhh look, an orphan! Let's go beat him up.

What will fall faster, an emo or an apple?

An apple, because the emo would get caught on the rope.

A baby penguin sat on an iceberg. The baby penguin watched the Titanic sink.

Why can't an orphan read?

He couldn't go to school without a parent's signature.

What does an orphan call a family portrait?

A selfie.

What do you call an orange parrot? A carrot!