ANS jokes
What do you get when Glen fucks an orange?
Adam.
What do you call an Indian lesbian? Minge-eater.
To be brutally honest, I think his wife let him die for money, because they could just plug him back in. Surely they have an Android cable about?
What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
Last Halloween, I went dressed as a woman. When I rang the doorbell, an elderly woman opened it, and I made a grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands.
She immediately called the police and told them exactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First, he asked if my parents were here, and I said nothing. Concerned by my answer, he then asked if I was okay, so I said nothing. He asked me what my name was, and I responded, "Hellen Keller."
Why did the bird lay an egg on Stephen Hawkings?
Because he is Stephen HAWKings.
What do you call an STD?
Elenji.
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.
What’s the difference between an Englishman and a unicorn?
Nothing.
How do you sink an American battleship?
Have the French build it.
If you start at a bait shop, you're an amateur baiter, but once you achieve the highest level, you become a master baiter. Now buy a shrimp boat and become a master baiter on a shrimp boat.
What makes a joke a dad joke? I don't know. I don't even have one as an example.
What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
By the way, could you tell me an elevator pun? I can't seem to "come up" with one myself.
Don't let an extra chromosome get you down!
My life is such an udder disappointment. What an udder failure!
A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind
Are you an egg, because you crack me up?
Two brothers were arguing. One went: "You're an idiot!"
The other went: "Your brother's a mother!"
He replied: "Yeah, I know. Thanks for agreeing with me."
What's the difference between an apple and a dead baby?
I don't jizz on an apple before eating it.