ANS jokes
An old lady in the bank told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I cut up onions.
Son: Hey Dad, what's an alcoholic?
Dad: Well son, do you see those 4 cars? An alcoholic would see 8.
Son: Dad, there are only 2 cars.
What do you call an angry Texan?
A Confederate leader.
What's an old man's favorite food?
Wrinkled onions.
What instrument can a skeleton never play? An organ.
What's an African's favorite sport to play, but they can't? Water polo.
What does a pulse and an orgasm have in common? I don't care if she has one.
Your birth certificate is like an apology from the condom factory...
Hi everyone, my mom got me an iPad today, and this is really cool. Can someone tell me what decapitation is?
If you ever get mad at an orphan, punch them in the face... What are they going to do, tell their parents?
If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan. I mean, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What kind of fish knows math?
An anglerfish LOL
Have you ever felt an earthquake? It’s not nature; it’s Brandan Bressler.
Why can’t you fool an aborted baby? Because it wasn’t born yesterday...
Why can’t you ever trick an aborted baby?
Because it wasn’t born yesterday. 🤭
Punch an orphan in the face what they gonna do? Tell there parents
People are like trees...
If you hit them with an ax multiple times, they'll fall over.
Vital information: if you find a stray dog in an alleyway, don't stare at its eyes.
Why don’t Mexicans have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim are in the USA.