ANS jokes

An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost and calls for his mum, then remembers.

Is it bad to hit an orphan?

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Well... I mean, they could go to church and try to gather that someone hit them.

What does an apple and a lawyer have in common?

They both look good hanging from a tree.

A priest, a minister, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar.

The bartender looks at them and says, "Is this a joke?"

Kid: Hey, Dad.

Dad: You're an hour late.

Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.

Dad: By yourself?

Kid: No.

Dad: A boy?

Kid: I was with the teacher.

When there’s an earthquake, coffins become underground maracas.

"Harry Hicks smells of home. Homo is an infection, and infections are made up of atoms."

If you are ever mad, punch an orphan.

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

How do you get an emo out of a tree?

You cut the rope.

Even a psychopath is sympathetic when an onion self-harms!

What are you doing, son? It has been an hour, and you are still in front of the mirror closing your eyes.

Mum, actually I want to see how I look while sleeping...

Are you an egg? 'Cause your jokes ain't funny.

Albert is a homophobic guy. His cousin Franco is also a homophobic guy.

Albert's aunt and cousin have visited his parents, but Albert didn't know that because he came late at night. Franco was sleeping in Albert's bed, thinking he would not come home. Albert laid on his bed, thinking there was no one on it, and then they started fucking ^_*

No phobia lasts forever 👌😂

I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me.

She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.

Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys. I asked and she said that’s my fam as well. I noticed an Alabama driver's license. I asked which one was her dad. She said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter. I casually asked what he did for work. Self-employed? She said that’s the last time I use ancestry.com!

Why can you punch an orphan and get away with it?

Because what is he gonna do, tell his parents?

What's the difference between homework and a hooker? They both start with an "H", but we all know which one we would like to do.

What does an emo kid and an apple have in common?

They both are hanging.

Walk up to an adopted kid and ask this, "How's your biological parents? Are they well?"

We are drunk at the party. There was an ass-ton of drunk girls there with me.

What’s the difference between an egg and a wank?

You can beat an egg.