Animal jokes
What do sheep wear to the beach?
A baa-kini.
What do rats like on their birthday? Mice cream and cake.
Why did the octopus cross the road?
To get to the other TIDE!!! 🤣🐙🐙
I once had a cat that reminded me of Doug Ford.
Fat, mean, and probably inbred.
Why are cats good at video games?
Because they have nine lives!
Memes
What did scientists prove when they saw a skeleton on the moon?
The cow didn’t make it.
What do you call a deaf animal?
Anything, it can't hear you.
Why did the tiger lose at poker?
Answer: Because he was playing with a cheetah.
Did you know pigeons die after sex?
Well, at least the one I fucked did.
What goes "Ooooooo"?
A cow with no lips.
What happened to the frog that partied illegally?
He got TOAD away!
If the hairdresser is healthy, the cat is happy. *purr*.
On the other hand, if the hairdresser is sick, the cat is happy too. *purrs on the bed*
What is a frog's favorite drink?
Croaka-cola!
Why do shepherds never learn to count?
Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.
Whenever I see a dog video, I just take a second to press paws.
A man walks into the taxidermist with two monkeys. The taxidermist asked if he wanted them mounted. The man said, "No. Shaking hands will be fine."
Who did the cow want to hang with?
The udders.
Fat chicks be like, "Am I fox pretty, bunny pretty, cat pretty, or deer pretty?" Like none, bitch, you elephant pretty. 😭😭😭
I saw a monkey outside of school and said, "Look, a monkey!" I got expelled the next day.
What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.