Animal jokes
What do emo kids and bats have in common?
They both hang from trees.
What does a perverted frog say?
"Rubbit."
A man opened a snail farm.
He said that it is a slow-moving business.
A woman walks into a supermarket and sees a blind man swinging a dog around in the air. So, the woman walks up to him and asks, "What are you doing?" The man says, "Just having a look around."
What do rats like on their birthday? Mice cream and cake.
Memes
*electric noises*
Why did the octopus cross the road?
To get to the other TIDE!!! 🤣🐙🐙
I once had a cat that reminded me of Doug Ford.
Fat, mean, and probably inbred.
Why are cats good at video games?
Because they have nine lives!
What did scientists prove when they saw a skeleton on the moon?
The cow didn’t make it.
What do you call a deaf animal?
Anything, it can't hear you.
Why did the tiger lose at poker?
Answer: Because he was playing with a cheetah.
Did you know pigeons die after sex?
Well, at least the one I fucked did.
What goes "Ooooooo"?
A cow with no lips.
My wife made electric eel for supper. I was shocked!
Two cows are grazing in a field.
One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter!"
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
A cock really has a sad life. He's hairs a mess, his neighbor's an arsehole, his best friend is a cunt.
What does Michael Jackson and an ant have in common? They are both innocent.
My fish died, and I didn't do anything. I just took my fish for a walk.
Why did the deer cross the road? Its friend deered it to!