Animal jokes
You cat to be kitten me right meow!
"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"
What do you call a grey, fat, and very old unicorn?
A rhino.
What do you call a cow that has stuff growing on it?
Mosscow
What do you call a very rude bird? A mockingbird.
What is the difference between a dog and a cat?
I don't know either.
Why do you think I asked you? ;)
Two rabbits were racing. Neither could get ahead, so they ended in a hare-tie!
What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?
Mooooooo my secret is that it's pasture bedtime, but not pasture bedtime!
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to the barking lot.
Once a monkey lived in a jamun tree. His friend, a crocodile, came there to eat jamun everyday. The second day, he ate some jamun and left some for his wife. Soon, his wife said, "Why don't you kill this monkey?"
The crocodile was sad and then asked the monkey to come to his place. The monkey said, "What if I drown?" The crocodile said, "Jump on my back." The monkey jumped on his back. The crocodile soon said, "I am gonna kill you. My wife is sick and wants to eat your heart." The monkey said, "I left my heart on the jamun tree." Then the crocodile swam back to the jamun tree and the monkey jumped on the tree.
You're so fat that people say you're the biggest bird!
I went to the aquarium this weekend, but I didn’t stay long. There’s something fishy about that place.
Q: What are cheetahs?
A: The worst card players!
Why did two dumb blondes put condoms on the cow's udders because they wanted the cow to practice safe sex?
Why did the chicken cross the road? To poo in the toilet.
"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he says.
What do you give a pig when it has a rash?
Oinkment.
My name is Bob, and I am a cow.
My grandfather was a knight, and his name was Sir Loin.
I'm happy that I named my dog "I Know What You Did." It's funny to see how much people get scared when I call him.
I put my leg up in the air sometimes, singing ayo, I'm a flamingo...