What do you call a woodpecker without a beak?
A headbanger.
A cock really has a sad life. He's hairs a mess, his neighbor's an arsehole, his best friend is a cunt.
Q: Why did the pervert cross the road?
A: Couldn't get his dick out of the chicken.
What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
The crocodile just kept saying, "No!" He was in Da Nile!
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was running from you, hehe.
Q: Why did the cat get arrested?
A: He was caught littering.
Q: Why did the cat get a ticket?
A: He was caught littering.
What do you call a bunny with a bent dick?
Fucks funny.
Fat chicks be like, "Am I fox pretty, bunny pretty, cat pretty, or deer pretty?" Like none, bitch, you elephant pretty. 😭😭😭
Hatsune Miku is not from an anime.
Who did the cow want to hang with?
The udders.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
A man walks into the taxidermist with two monkeys. The taxidermist asked if he wanted them mounted. The man said, "No. Shaking hands will be fine."
What did the bee say after the execution? "The criminal has been beeheaded!"
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.
I saw a monkey outside of school and said, "Look, a monkey!" I got expelled the next day.
Why do shepherds never learn to count?
Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.
What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
