What goes "Ooooooo"?
A cow with no lips.
Animal Jokes
What is Hitler's favorite animal?
A dolphin.
How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
What do you call a woodpecker without a beak?
A headbanger.
Why did the deer cross the road? Its friend deered it to!
What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
My fish died, and I didn't do anything. I just took my fish for a walk.
What do you call a rooster lollipop?
A cock sucker!
My wife made electric eel for supper. I was shocked!
Two cows are grazing in a field.
One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter!"
Q: Why did the cat get arrested?
A: He was caught littering.
Q: Why did the cat get a ticket?
A: He was caught littering.
Q: Why did the pervert cross the road?
A: Couldn't get his dick out of the chicken.
A cock really has a sad life. He's hairs a mess, his neighbor's an arsehole, his best friend is a cunt.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
What did the bee say after the execution? "The criminal has been beeheaded!"
Why do shepherds never learn to count?
Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.
What do you call a bunny with a bent dick?
Fucks funny.
