Animal jokes
What do emo kids and bats have in common?
They both hang from trees.
What does a perverted frog say?
"Rubbit."
What do rats like on their birthday? Mice cream and cake.
A woman walks into a supermarket and sees a blind man swinging a dog around in the air. So, the woman walks up to him and asks, "What are you doing?" The man says, "Just having a look around."
A man opened a snail farm.
He said that it is a slow-moving business.
Memes
Why did the octopus cross the road?
To get to the other TIDE!!! 🤣🐙🐙
What do you call a deaf animal?
Anything, it can't hear you.
What did scientists prove when they saw a skeleton on the moon?
The cow didn’t make it.
Why are cats good at video games?
Because they have nine lives!
I once had a cat that reminded me of Doug Ford.
Fat, mean, and probably inbred.
Why did the tiger lose at poker?
Answer: Because he was playing with a cheetah.
Did you know pigeons die after sex?
Well, at least the one I fucked did.
What goes "Ooooooo"?
A cow with no lips.
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
My wife made electric eel for supper. I was shocked!
Why did the deer cross the road? Its friend deered it to!
What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
Two cows are grazing in a field.
One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter!"
Q: Why did the pervert cross the road?
A: Couldn't get his dick out of the chicken.
A cock really has a sad life. He's hairs a mess, his neighbor's an arsehole, his best friend is a cunt.