Animal jokes
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? -- One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
Where do rabbits eat breakfast?
IHOP.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? -- Because the octopus was well armed.
What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey? -- A cross.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? -- "Bison."
Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," says the first.
"Moo!" says the second.
What did the fish say before he hit the wall? -- "Oh, dam."
How do you count cows? -- With a cowculator.
What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
Why can't humans hear a dog whistle? -- Because dogs can't whistle.
How many animals can jump higher than a skyscraper? -- All of them, skyscrapers can't jump.
What is the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
You stop milking a cow after 15 years.
What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same? -- Identical.
Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.
Two silk worms got in a fight. It ended in a tie.
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? -- Because the cow has the udder.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? -- Because they lactose.
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
What kind of dog can do magic tricks?
A labracadabrador.