Animal jokes
What do you call a dinosaur with a cowboy hat and cowboy boots?
A Tyrannosaurus Tex.
What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop.
What happens when a cow masturbates?
Beef jerky.
What do you give a dog with a fever?
Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog!
Why did the farmer's wife chase the chickens out of the yard?
'Cause they were using fowl language!
What do you call a cow that lives in Africa? Moo-fasa!
Julie: What's the difference between a chimp and a pizza?
John: I don't know.
Julie: Remind me not to send you to the store...
Snake one: Are we venomous?
Snake two: Yep!... Why do you ask?
Snake one: Cuz I just bit my tongue!!! (Drama scene)
What do cats have for breakfast?
Mice crispies.
What do you call the mushy stuff between sharks' teeth?
A slow swimmer...
What did the mouse say after its bath?
"I feel squeaky clean!"
What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street?
Put them in a barking lot!
Why did the baby cross the road?
It was stapled to the chicken.
Why is the dog having KFC? Because the dog has no friends.
Mary had a little lamb. Chick, chick, bam! No more lamb.
What's the similarity between dogs and poor people?
They both eat from trash.
What does the cross guard say to the cows crossing the road?
Mooooooooooo along!
What did the pelican say when he finished shopping?
"Put it in my bill."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he wanted to get to the other side. LOL.
What did the lion say to the lion tamer? Nothing, because when the lion tamer whipped the lion, the lion killed him.