And jokes

"I love you, you too. I-eeeeeee was the night. Time is it when you you get a typical sleep night. Is oooooooo, is it a walk home was the night night and a tree is it?"

I went for a walk today, and I did a good job of telling what time it was.

What time is it when you get home, can you walk walk home and walk walk home to get a car? I love you, you're the night!

Beans and toast.

A horse walked in a bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?"

So, a guy walked into the store and said to the worker: "Is this free?"

Then the worker said: "Nope, 'cause I'm on sale!"

What does Bill Cosby and someone eating at McDonald's have in common?

They're both mc lovin' what they're eating.

Keep rolling your eyes and maybe you'll find a brain back there.

Does anyone know where I can get that picture that went around the internet of Steven Hawking looking at the stairway to Heaven and saying “Oh Fu-k”?

Orphans can’t work at Johnson and Johnson because it’s a family company.

What did Onett and Threed reply to their child?

"I love you Twoson."

I saw a man today wearing a t-shirt that said "I'm with stupid."

I told him, "You know, that's not very nice."

He looked at me and said, "I'm with stupid, too."

A man walks into a bar and orders a stiff drink. I gave him a glass of ice.

I had bullies behind me on the street, but they were too fat and slow, so they got ran over by a truck that represents fat and slow.

One day I went skating and skated for so long that my feet were incredibly sore.

It was like my skates were moving all by themselves, but I decided to just roll with the situation.

Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted me and my dad and walk home from home and walk home and walk walk home.

Today I asked my sis to take out the trash, and I shoved her outside!

Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because she felt peely!

What is black and white and red all over? A newspaper.

Hi, how are you? I was busy doing something right. I just texted because me and my dad were going to.

When I am getting bored, I hold a banana and start shaking it suddenly. It gives out juice after a few minutes. I get excited. Ohhhhhh!

Try with a cucumber.