What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.
Any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery.
What did one nut say to the other? Ignore the guy in the middle. He's a d!ck.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? -- Because they lactose.
What's bigger than the Milky Way?
Michael Jackson's nose.
What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
What's the difference between snow men and snow women?
Snow balls.
What is the difference between a man performing anilingus on a woman and a man performing cunnilingus on a woman?
If a man is performing anilingus on a woman, it is not classified as heterosexual sodomy, you fucking idiot!!!!!
Never break someone’s heart, they only have one.
Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
God creating spiders.
God: "Make it have 8 legs." Angel: "Ok? Bit excessive but ok." God: "And 8 eyes." Angel: "You need to calm down and li-" God: "Give it a butt rope!"
What has three balls and flies through space?
E.T. the extra testicle.
Call me Willma, will my balls fit ya mouth?
What did the skeleton say before dinner? "Bone appetit." His whole family found that humerus.
This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom.
So he asked the teacher, "May I use the bathroom?"
The teacher replied, "No, not unless you say your alphabet."
So the boy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z."
When he finished, the teacher asked him, "Where's the p?"
The boy replied, "Half way down my leg..."
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt-quack.
What do you call a nose without a body? -- Nobody knows.
Why did the skeleton not rob the bank?
He did not have the guts!
Is buttcheeks one word?
Or should I spread them?
What do you call an athlete who injured 75% of his spine?
A quarterback.
