Analog jokes
"Mixed vegetables is just special ed class, change my mind."
Dark humor is like COVID-19... Not everyone gets it.
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes, and everyone is trying to shit on ya.
Depression is like therapy; the more you see it, the more you get used to it.
Suicidal ideation is like wanting to slaughter someone but knowing/feeling that you can't. It's also, in a way, kind of like seeing a really hot chick that you wish you could F, but you again for whatever reason you either feel you can't or you just can't.
When fat people smash, it must feel like a huge submarine hitting you.
Free will is like having a vagina. You don't need to know how to use it, and you don't need to know what it does, but what matters is that you have it.
I like my women how I like my fridge. In the kitchen.
FEMA during a natural disaster is kinda like me during sex. Slow to respond and not a lot of satisfying results.
Cancer is like a video game.
Some people cannot beat it.
I like my dynamite like I like my woman: hot and ready to explode.
Broccoli is like anal sex. If you're forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
Girls are like volcanoes.
You never know when they will erupt.
My dad is like Hurricane Katrina. I haven’t seen either since 2005.
What does a duck and a tablespoon have in common?
Both are not a lamp.
Seat belts are like the condom for cars.
A slag is like the first piece of bread in a loaf. Everyone touches it, but nobody wants it.
Dark humor is like food: Not everybody gets it.
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass.
Yo mama's like a fridge, she breaks down when she loses her cool.