In America, planes hit the Twin Towers. In Soviet Russia, Twin Towers hit planes.
The Annoying Orange called Donald Trump a copycat.
Obama was America's first black president, and Trump was their first orange one.
Straights are ALWAYS asking LGBTQ+ people why they have such GOOD FASHION SENSE. We didn't spend all that time in the closet for nothing, honey ;)
Why do Americans suck at chess?.......... They already lost two towers.
I entered 10 puns in a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.
Why would hunting a bald eagle in America be a bad idea?
Because it's ill-eagle.
So we all know why 6 was afraid of seven; because it eight nine, But why was ten scared? it was in between 9/11.
What do you call an emo kid's suicide live stream?
America's funniest home videos.
Why did Bob fall off the swing while playing? Because he had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
Not Bob.
I'm American, and I'm sick of people saying America is "the stupidest country in the world." Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.
What happened when the American broke his arm?
He went broke.
My friend asks for a turkey burger on 4th of July. I say, "That's Thanksgiving, man!"
Teacher: Alright kids. 50, 49, 48, 47. What comes before 47?
Kid: AK!
Everyone else: 🚪 🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿♀️ 🎒 🏃🏻
Gun control in America is perfect the way it is, because the other day my daughter was seeing a boy and i caught them in bed. Then i pulled out my shotgun and nearly shot him. As he was running away I shouted " The only person allowed to f*ck my daughter is me!".
So I was on a Discord call the other day, and one of my friends, an American buddy, joined, and we had a conversation.
Until they said: "When did pounds change to quid?"
And I said: "They're the exact same thing."
Then they said: "But when did it happen?"
So I said: "When did school change to shooting range?"
Commander: "Fire a warning shot."
Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher."
Commander: "Potato, potato, just fire."
Soldier: *fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school*
Commander: "They're trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!"
If Canadians speak "English Eh?", do Americans speak "English B?"
Why did Susan drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus.
What's America's no. 1 class?
Target practice.
