9 out of 10 Americans are stupid... I'm so glad I'm in the 1%.
What’s an abbreviation for school in America?
Shooting range.
Jokes just as dead as the victims.
A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."
you.
Yo mama's so stupid she got locked in Mattress World and slept on the floor.
What do you call an angry Texan?
A Confederate leader.
What do you call your brother in Alabama? Daddy.
Fortnite is like America... At one time it was good and free. Now it's neither.
What do Colorado and Saudi Arabia have in common?
It's legal to get stoned.
Why are Americans so good at solving Rubik’s cubes?
Because they have a history of separating colors.
After a long day of work, Kanye West goes to his Kanye Nest to take his Kanye Rest. He wakes up feeling his Kanye Best. Then he’ll get Kanye Dressed on his Kanye Vest to go on a Kanye Quest. He goes to church and becomes Kanye Blessed, then to a hotel room to be a Kanye Guest.
Necrophilia in Alabama is fun for the whole family, even grandma.
What are the best shooting ranges in America?
Schools.
What is the difference between the President of Ukraine and the President of the United States?
The President of Ukraine is a comedian, and the President of the United States is a joke!
Everyone's always saying they're so worried about America's big button, the one that controls all the nuclear power. I'm not worried about that... I'm worried about the idiot on the end of it.
A straight man and a gay man are talking. The straight man says, "I'm wanted in 2 states for murder." and the gay man replies with, "Oh, that sucks. I'm wanted in 13 for existing."
Australian says to American: why do you have such bad gun laws?
American: Self defense.
Australian: Self defense against 50 innocent children?
Why is America better than Japan at rapping?
Because we're better at dropping bombs.
What is big, annoying, and full of blubber?
90% of America's population.
Well, being an American is just a joke itself.
