How do you keep am Idiot I'm suspense?
Answer; I'll tell you tomorrow!
I went to school on a Saturday. My teacher asked why am I here, so I replied that my brother told me to go to hell.
I am the orphan joke
what did the fat say to the other fat. i am fatey
What do you call a sad rabbit? Unhoppy. Why isn't there a sad sunglasses emoji? To show that I am happy but I'm still cool.
I will make a funny joke if u let me be your boyfriend. Im 19 and i am russian.
why am i in jail? all i did was cause 9/11
People ask me if my friend jumps of a bridge will I go as well. Of course not. I am a leader I will go first, my friend will jump after me!
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me and said, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
Roses are red, your cities are gone, I am Thomas the thermonuclear bomb
Magician..." I am the greatest magician in the whole world... look now you see the rabbit in the hat and now it is gone!...Redneck girl..."That`s nothing my dad is the greatest magician! He disappears for a whole year and reappears at Christmas for a couple hours!"...
It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the UW. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 800 students in the class! The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail. 1/2 hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet.
„You’re not going to have time to finish this,“ the professor said, as he handed the student a booklet. „Yes I will,“ replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing.
After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued writing.
1/2 hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there.
„No you don’t, I’m not going to accept that. It’s late.“ The student looked incredulous and angry. „Do you know who I am?“
„No, as a matter of fact I don’t,“ replied the professor with an air of sarcasm in his voice. „Do you know who I am?“ the student asked again. „No, and I don’t care,“ replied the professor with an air of superiority. „Good,“ replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and ran out of the room.
Today I asked my phone siri why am i still single?
And i activated the front camera! 😭😭😭😭😭
I am awesome look at me
Here is a story, my best friend was Chinese, his name was Chong- king. I took him to a restaurant one day and he said “ I am Chong king. I said I know your name is Chong king, within a few minutes he just randomly died making weird noises and turning blue by every second.
Anyone know what happened?
I see my friends at school they talk to me they go back to class but they forgot i am their class mate and they were like your dumbie and i was well your a dumba** bi***
I am so depressed! I get jealous when my phone died.
3. Today, I asked my phone "siri", why am I still single?” and it activated the front camera.
If you’ve got me, you want to share me; if you share me, you haven’t kept me. What am I?
I’m light as a feather, yet the strongest person can’t hold me for five minutes. What am I?
