New Amativeness Jokes - Page 6

Today I asked my phone, Siri, why am I still single?

And I activated the front camera! 😭😭😭😭😭

I am awesome, look at me!

Here is a story, my best friend was Chinese, his name was Chong-king. I took him to a restaurant one day and he said, "I am Chong-king." I said I know your name is Chong-king, within a few minutes he just randomly died making weird noises and turning blue by every second.

Anyone know what happened?

I see my friends at school. They talk to me, they go back to class, but they forgot I am their classmate, and they were like, "You're a dumbie." And I was, "Well, you're a dumbass, bi***!"

I am so depressed! I get jealous when my phone died.

3. Today, I asked my phone "siri", why am I still single?” and it activated the front camera.

What time do terrorists arrive in New York City?

9:11 AM

If you’ve got me, you want to share me; if you share me, you haven’t kept me. What am I?

I’m light as a feather, yet the strongest person can’t hold me for five minutes. What am I?

I’m tall when I’m young, and I’m short when I’m old. What am I?

A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."

The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"

The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."

What am I gonna do on the 5th anniversary of the Parkland shooting?

Shoot a load in you just like I shot those kids ;)

As a son, I am so worried about the phone call message that my mom got from a member of The CDC. It was on speaker, so me and mom both hear. The message told my mom that she needs to personally isolate because two of the new symptoms is having big titties and a great personality.

Orphans are stupid, am I right? Hehehehehehehehehehehe.

I am never wrong. One time I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.

How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.

I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.

I have a green ball in one hand and one in the other. What am I holding?

Shrek's dick.

Last post for today, but I had to say one more thing! Tomorrow I am going to Six Flags, and I am literally so excited! It is going to be so much fun. Hope you guys have a good MLK JR. day! Woohooo!

Quote of the day: It's never too late to be what you wished you were.

Hope y'all are having a great day! I just got back from a volleyball tournament that I had to be up at 5 AM for! We played three games and won the last one. We advanced and are playing a few more tomorrow. Wish me and my team good luck!