i am a joke
I'm required by law to tell you I am a registered sex offender.
Ex Of Johnnys: I have a question.
Johnny: What?
Ex Of Johnnys: Am I pretty?
Johnny: Yes ofc jesus made everybody wonderfully!
Ex: Awhh!
Johnny: But whoever made you was painting Thomas the Train while making your face.
Popular guy in class: I am so funny.
Me: Your parents are funny as they made a joke and people are still laughing at it.
Where did JFK go in his car? I am not sure of his intentional destination, but he did go everywhere.
Johnny, Johnny?
Yes, Papa.
Eating sugar?
Yes, Papa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach, and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you’re mad at me for eating a little sugar.
Smoking? Telling lies?
Yes, Papa, you do all of those things because you’re a chronic addict.
I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."
(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)
Emo girls be like: How much am I worth...
Girl, scan the code on your wrist!
Lionel: Leona, please no more singing your annoying Fuzzy Bear song!
Leona: But I love my song, right Fuzzy?
Fuzzy Bear: I am going to bite you for not letting your sister sing my song!
*Fuzzy Bear bites Lionel*
Lionel: AHHHHHHH
Am I doing my work? Because typing this took lots of work.
Am I the only one who's on here because it's not blocked on the school laptop and I can't use my phone in class?
Cows go moo.
You're gay.
Bro, I am straighter than the pole that your mom dances on for me every night.
"What’s your name?"
"Am erica."
"No, I asked for your name, not your country."
Bo - hey kids I am so sad that you won’t exercise and give me Bo power so I am just going to be a orphan *kids changing the channel to Annie* Annie- Tomorrow tomorrow only a day away * TV changing the channel back to Bo On The Go Dezzy- WAAAAAAAAAA I can’t find Bo
Mrs. Kadie, I just heard about a FGTEEV video about vegan nuggets.
Duddy: Sup FGTEEVERS, me and James Marsden just got some Chick-fil-A.
Viewers: Got ya again Mrs. Kadie.
Mrs. Kadie: Vincent and James, I am going to push you off your roof.
Duddy and James: AHHHHHHH!
Why am I still alive?
Pills give me stomachaches, blood makes me faint, height frightens me...
Sometimes I am happy and there are times I envy my dog 🤧
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.
What is the difference between an apple and am orphan. Apples get picked
I am in trouble. My mum asked me to get six cans of Sprite.
But I got seven Up.
