Always jokes
Roses are red, violets are blue. If you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.
A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."
"Interesting."
"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.
Dear prince,
Gwen is dating Aiden! I can tell by the emojis! She does not like you or the way you talk to her, not one bit!
P.S. She is and will always be dating Aiden! Leave a comment.
I'll always remember my Dad's last words before he died on 9/11... Allahu Akbar!
I don't always roll a joint, but when I do, it's my ankle.
You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.
Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports? Because she always ran away from the ball.
It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.
Why is basketball such a messy sport?
'Cause the players are always dribbling everywhere!
Everyone's always saying they're so worried about America's big button, the one that controls all the nuclear power. I'm not worried about that... I'm worried about the idiot on the end of it.
Why did the rapper always carry a flashlight?
To SHINE A LIGHT on his talent!
Why can't Pooh Bear catch a date?
Because he is always talking about his honey.
Q: Why aren't emo jokes funny?
A: They always seem to cut a little too close.
How do you know cat's don't always land on their feet? Mufasa.
Once there were twins, Mark and Michael. Mark was the owner of an old boat. It so happened that Michael's wife died the same day that Mark's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible." Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, "Heck no. In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!" The old lady fainted.
Why are black men's eyes always red after sex?
From the mace.
Why is the lesbian lifestyle so expensive? -- They're always eating out. ... and they buy Rolexes for their neighbors, because they wanna watch.
Why can’t the employee tell dirty laundry jokes?
Because they always come out clean.
Are you depression? 'Cause you're always on my mind~
I always keep anti-fungal spray with me... because I don't want to share my girlfriend with anyone.