Always jokes
What present can a pimp always buy his hoes to both show how much he thinks of them and know they can never get enough of?
Condoms!
If the American Dream exists, why is it always filmed in Canada?
Why was the rapper always happy?
Because he lived life on the rhyme side!
Who makes more money, a drug dealer or a prostitute?
A prostitute, because she can always wash her crack and sell it again.
After an intense workout, I finally have the body I've always dreamed of.
It's in my basement.
this for all the creeps
I went to school with a gay guy who was really smart, but he always got mad that he got straight A's instead of getting all the D's.
Why are cheetahs bad at running away? They always get spotted.
Video game company names always make me make puns I didn't intend to.
What is the country that is always in a rush? Russia.
Why don’t Asians get stung by bees?
Because they are always expected to get “A’s.”
I will always remember my baby sister's last words: "What is the fire for?"
Life is like giving head... it always sucks.
Your hairline's exactly like your nose; it's always offside.
Q: What do you say to a kid who threatens to beat you up?
A: We can always rearrange your liver 😏
Why are apples and orphans the same?
They always get picked on.
Why is the Rubik’s cube record holder always American?
Because Americans are really good at separating colors.
"Remember, switching to your pistol is always faster than reloading."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
Which falls faster, a feather or an emo?
A feather, because the emos are always hanging in.
Why is a brick always hard? Because he seen the brick that was getting laid right next to him.
A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.
Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"
Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"
Priest: "Fuck the children."
Rabbi: "Do we have time?"
Priest: "There's always time for something like that."