Always jokes
Why do prostitutes love servicing zombies? They always leave a tip.
This is how my mom always threatens me: "I brought you into this world, I can bring you out of it too." That's why I only have 2 siblings left.
I wonder where the bodies are?
Why do dictators always eat without leaving anything on the plate?
Because they can't leave a piece (peace).
Why can't an Asian play baseball?
'Cause they always eat the bat!
Why do orphans love tornadoes? Because they always pick you up!
It's ALWAYS like this
Why do Emos always wear black like ninjas?
Because they're always cutting.
Why is there a big old gay parade on one of the first days of summer?
Pride always cometh before the fall.
Mom: That's why your dad left you.
Me: Why?
Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.
Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!
Mom: Your dad had a heart attack two weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!
(This actually did happen in real life.)
As a child, my mother always told me she was going horse riding. My whole life changed when I found out she was under the horse.
My relatives always teased me during weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"
But they stopped when I did the same to them during funerals.
You went the wrong way. Always choose the right path.
My friend Joe was a great hunter. He always shot like 3 deer every week.
He was even better at school when he bagged 30 of them.
Fortnite is so bad that when you try to play, trash is always in your way. LOL
As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers. : )
Q: Why was 10 afraid?
A: Because he was always between 9/11.
So this is how I got divorced.
On my birthday my boss, who was a hot sexy woman who I have always had an eye on her huge ass and tits, wished me happy birthday and took me to her house. She went into the shower and came out dressed and this made me disappointed. But then she stripped off and made my dick go into her pussy and before I could realize I heard her main door creak. And in came my wife, mum, and my 2 kids, 8 years old and 12 years old. Although my wife joined in, she was mad after since that was not my wife, that was my wife's twin sister. Do not know why woman these days are like this!!!!!!!!!!
Why do rappers make terrible pirates?
Because they’re always DROPPING HOOKS!
Why did the rapper always carry a camera?
Because he wanted to "capture" the rap star!
When I get home from school, I always lay on my floor crying and wishing I was dead.
best friend makes 9/11 joke.
you: "hey, my dad was inside the tower."
best friend: "I'm sorry."
you: "I always knew he was a great pilot."