Always jokes
What is always in front of you but can’t be seen?
Answer: The future.
Why was the rapper always late?
Because he had to drop his kids off at the Rhyme Bus.
I’m like an escalator because I’m always letting people down.
How do you know cat's don't always land on their feet?
Mufasa.
Which falls faster, a feather or an emo?
A feather, because the emos are always hanging in.
Remember when Calvin wanted to commit a school shooting?
I was always told I’m too small to ride, but every girl I’ve been with rated me a 9.5.
Why do Indian guys never have gfs? Because they always pick curry and biryani over girls.
Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 == Dec 25.
Being an orphan always has an upside; for instance, a bag of chips is family-sized.
Why don't rappers ever become bankers?
Because they always break the BARS!
You know what's so horrible about this website?
When I mimic another person's account, the picture ALWAYS changes color. No more identity theft for me.
I know a lot of people hate tapeworms, but they will always have a special place in my heart.
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
You'd think it'd be R, but really his heart will always belong to the C.
Why is a football stadium always so cold?
Answer: Because it has a lot of fans!
As a little boy, I walked in on my parents having intercourse one night, and of course, my parents stopped and sent me back to bed.
The next day my dad tells me, "Don't worry son, I wasn't hurting mommy, we were just trying to make you a little sister."
So, when I was young I always wanted a pet. I then looked at my father and asked, "Could you do mommy doggy style next time? I want a puppy."
Why can’t the employee tell dirty laundry jokes?
Because they always come out clean.
Scratches on an icy road and kills 50 people on the bus, and when they get to Heaven, God feels so bad for them and grants them all one wish.
The first lady in the line was always worried about her looks, so she wished to be beautiful, and the guy behind her couldn’t think of what to wish about, so he also wished to be beautiful. This kept on going, but the guy at the end of the line started to laugh. When he got to God, God says, “What is your one wish, my son?” He said, “I wish you can make them all ugly again.”
Why don’t Asians get stung by bees?
Because they are always expected to get “A’s.”
What is the country that is always in a rush? Russia.
You and your sister always get into a fight and she says, "I don't care." Then you say right away, "About you!"