Always jokes
What does Leo have in common with a newspaper?
They both love to yap and babble, and they always get fondled by old people.
Why can lesbians not drive cars?
They always strap the wrong thing on.
"Remember, switching to your pistol is always faster than reloading."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
Who makes more money, a drug dealer or a prostitute?
A prostitute, because she can always wash her crack and sell it again.
You went the wrong way. Always choose the right path.
Memes
Why does a deaf kid always like football? He gets signed.
I don't usually make 9/11 jokes. They always go down in flames.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? One is always picked.
Why can't an orphan be in a Scream movie?
It's always someone you know.
Always breathing down my neck, my vampire girlfriend does not give me any space.
Why is the sand always pissed off?
Because the sand never waves back!
I always knew that Maranda Sings was orbiting Uranus.
A skeleton decided to become an assassin.
He was always skull-king around!
Fortnite is so bad that when you try to play, trash is always in your way. LOL
What does a student always get on an alphabet test?
A!
Like, if you hate wearing a mask.
Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!
True story by the way.
When you go to the priest's basement, you will always find the pope's body and his children in the corner of the room.
There is someone in my class named Henry Rocket Rueben, and he always says he rockets into my mom.
I always press the stop button to see you.
Why doesn't George Washington carry his ID?
Because he knows he can always ask for a quarter.