Always jokes

A lot of people get mad at me for my bad jokes. I always thought they were punderful.

Why are corners so hot?

They are always 90 degrees.

I am like currency; people always trade me out for someone better.

"I hate going to weddings, because the old lady next to you always whispers in your ear, 'You're next.' So I started doing the same to them at funerals, 'You're next.'"

Why is a football stadium always so cold?

Answer: Because it has a lot of fans!

Why you always in a mood?

You're not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.

Why are eggs bad at puns?

They always mix up their yolks!

Why do orphans always have water in their cereal? Because the dad never came back with the milk.

I used to be a banker but I lost interest.

Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball.

Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired).

My friend is blind.

So he always says he cannot Nazi.

So, apparently, Hitler's dad was quite the abusive fellow, always beating his son.

Guess that's why he's called (Hit)ler.

Me: Hey friend!

Friend: Yes?

Me: What is the missing sense? Seeing, smelling, _, tasting, hearing.

Friend: Touch.

Me: What do you spawn on Minecraft always? (jk only 99.99%)

Friend: Grass.

Me: And you get?

Friend: Touch grass.

Why do orphans always go to church? Because that’s the only place they could call someone "father."

Why do emo kids hate high fives?

They’re always left hanging.

I always knew that Maranda Sings was orbiting Uranus.

Why do dictators always eat without leaving anything on the plate?

Because they can't leave a piece (peace).

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple always gets picked.

Wanna hear a poop joke?

Nah, they always stink.

I forgot my lucky egg! It always gives me an eggcellent amount of luck!