Always jokes
I don't like the word "gun".
Whenever I say it, people always get triggered.
What store does an orphan always get kicked out of?
Home Depot.
I don't trust atoms. They always make stuff up.
What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?
They're always cutting.
So, I was walking down the path of my life with Bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his.
One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, "You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?"
He then looks me straight in the eyes and says, "Raw!"
I'm always forgetting these kinds of jokes. I also forgot my son's name.
Why are orphans so fond of shadows?
They're the only thing that accompanies them always.
Girls are like blackjack.
I always want 21 but end up hitting on 14.
I asked my uncle why he was living on the streets.
He said that he wasn't always on the streets, he used to have a job at these two towers. I asked him what happened, and he said two planes happened.
Why do cheetahs never get an A+ on a test? They always cheetah!
When I look in your eyes, I always see something: my reflection. 😂
Do you know why I don't like stairs? They are always up to something. #dadjokes
Why did the rapper always carry a map?
Because he was afraid of getting LOST in the BARS.
I'm not saying I'm ugly...
But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.
Why do people always talk about 9/11, but seriously, just let it sit there, like the rubble it is.
Why do trees never call emo kids?
The emos always hang up on them.
It’s like I always tell my kids:
"Two in the pink, one in the stink."
Why was the rapper always in good shape?
Because he dropped the mic and picked up weights!
🎆 New Year's Eve
Lil Johnny👦: "Every year the same, people always have to start banging before midnight!"
Mom👱🏻♀️: "Johnny, would you please leave the bedroom now?"
Dad👨🏻🦰: "Son, if you don't leave, it'll bang on your head!"
Why was the rapper always good at math?
Because he had a lot of FLOW CHARTS.