Always jokes
People always call me heartless. That’s not true. I have a heart... it just wasn’t meant for you.
Why can’t you play games with cats? Because they always ‘cheetah’.
I love playing zebra crossing, but I always get run over.
Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?
Because they're always coming out of the closet.
This kinda reminds me of when my mum was feeding me. She always used to say, "Open wide for the delicious plane."
If I'm ugly, why do you always look at me when I come in the door?
Why did Stephen Hawking get sacked from his job?
Because he was always rolling in late.
Why do gay kids always fail exams ? Becuz they can't think straight
Who are the best at bowling?
Terrorists, they always throw strikes.
Why was the rapper always in good shape?
Because he dropped the mic and picked up weights!
Don't believe what your school bully tells you.
Always take it with a grain of assault.
Why can’t an orphan have a dog? It always runs away.
Computers are females because when they're down, you always charge her.
Q: Why do I always see gays in the roundabout?
A: They couldn’t go straight.
When I tell people my girlfriend's packin', they always think she's really good with a gun.
She's actually transgender and on the waiting list for surgery.
Why was the rapper always on time?
Because they had mad flow!
I’m enyaw and I fancy my PE teacher. She is called Kelly Pearce and I go to Beckfoot Oakbank. I always watch her because I am a creep. I live at school under the stairs, but I also try [to] follow her home, and if I'm unsuccessful I look her up on a dodgy website and go on Google maps and look at her door.
Spanish is difficult. When my mom gives me food, she says "toma," and that's drink in English, so I always drink my food.
I always enjoy family reunions.
It's always a good time meeting up with my exes.
A wife says to her husband, "You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back." "What do you expect?" he says, "You're in a fucking wheelchair!"