Alphabet jokes
Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?
That one friend: 11 - T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
What is a fish without i's?
Fsh.
What starts with F and ends with CK?
Firetruck.
2 times 4 equals 18?
I was at a restaurant and a waitress yelled, "Does anyone know CPR?" I said, "I know the whole alphabet." Everyone laughed and laughed, well, everyone except one.
X is for X-treme shooting!
【┻┳══━一
What does a student always get on an alphabet test?
A!
Q. When is your grandfather's bedtime?
A. Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.
Me: I'm afraid of random letters.
Therapist: You are?
Me: [screams]
Therapist: Oh, I see.
Me: [screaming intensifies]
What kind of streets do ghosts haunt?
Dead ends.
abcdefgjiowqdou;rwohieugrhiosrvhionovruohwu.
A B C D E F GUN.
I was at the bar late last night when a waitress screamed, "Anyone know CPR?" I said, "Shit, I know all the letters of the alphabet." Everyone laughed, well, except for this one guy.
"F" stand for family, that's why "orphan" is spelled with "ph."
What is half of nine?
"ni"
So, as a school shooter, I try to remember my ABC's. A, B, C, D, E, F, GUN!
And I basically stop at G, since no students ever speak to me about the rest.
W in Africa stands for water.
Why do orphans hate the letter FMD? Because F stands for "family," M stands for "mom," and D stands for "dad."
I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"
I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.
What are the sinful letters of the alphabet?
A, B, C you in hell.