Airplane jokes
A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him, "Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it.
The genie says, "This is your last wish so really make this one count." The guy says, "Well, I've always wanted to drive out to the Hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands." The Genie says, "That is asking for quite a lot and I'm not sure if I can pull that off, is there anything else you'd want?" The guy says, "Well, I've been married and divorced three times, and I just can't understand what I've been doing wrong. I've given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could, but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women." The genie thinks for a few moments and says, "Do you want a three or four lane highway?"
My uncle died on nine eleven... he was the best pilot in Iraq.
C'mon guys, 9/11 jokes are just plane wrong.
I don't like it when people make 9/11 jokes. My dad was in it.
He was the best damn pilot in Saudi Arabia.
What do women and airplanes have in common?
A cockpit.
Stop making 9/11 jokes, my father died in a plane crash.
Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.
Wanna hear some famous last words?
"We are just experiencing some turbulence."
I can tell you an airplane joke, but it will probably fly over your head.
My heart is like a plane.
It crashes every once in a while.
Have I told you the joke about the airplane? Ah, forget it, it probably just went over your head.
How did the flight attendant want their burger?
Just plane!
What do you call a plane with no wings?
Sally.
What's grey and can't fly?
A parking lot.
The pilot goes "We're going down!"
The other pilot yells "Down like your syndrome?"
What type of pizza do they serve on an airplane?
Plane pizza.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but what do two Wrights make?
The first airplane.
A Muslim enters a building...
Along with 500 passengers and an airplane.
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: The 9/11 victims. They went through 20 stories in seconds.
What sound does a 747 make when it bounces?
Boeing boeing boeing.
Give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life.