Airplane jokes
What do you call a flying bus?
An Airbus.
A class is being taught when Bill Clinton walks in. He asks the class, "What is a tragedy?"
One kid, named Jim, raises his hand and says, "If my family and I got ran over by a truck, that would be a tragedy." Bill Clinton replies, "That would be an accident, not a tragedy."
A couple of seconds later, Audrey raises her hand and says, "If a school shooting would happen and 10 kids died, that would be a tragedy." Bill Clinton replies once again with: "That would be a great loss, not a tragedy." All of the kids are confused now when all of a sudden Matthew says, "If you and Hillary Clinton were on an airplane and it got blown up, that would be a tragedy!"
"Yes!" Says Bill Clinton "How do you know?" Matthew says happily, "It is definitely not an accident, and certainly not a great loss!"
A blonde crashes an airplane.
Officer: Could you please explain to me what happened?
Woman: It got so cold in the plane, I turned the fan off.
Officer: *face palms self*
Also officer: Here's your sign.
Run, or something will come to you, and you will be afraid to tell it to stop following you.
What kind of bagel can fly?
A plain.
What can read 105 stories in ten seconds?
New Yorkers.
How about that airplane food? I eat it when I'm high.
What do you call an airplane that doesn’t fly?
A plane wingless.
"I like planes."
- Plane Guy
Science gets you to the moon.
Religion flies you into buildings.
I was on a plane and my mom said, "It's just a little turbulence."
And I said, "Mom, we just got on the runway!"
Why are the 9/11 survivors the fastest readers in the world?
Because they went down 109 stories in 10 seconds.
Chuck Norris doesn't fly on airplanes.
Airplanes fly on Chuck Norris.
My name is Big Dick.
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: I used to work at the World Trade Center, before the plane hit.
Doctor: A lot of people fell to pieces after that.
If there are 12 fish and 6 drown, how many are left?
12, because fish don't drown.
Hi Mom, how are you doing?
My uncle died in the 9/11 attacks. He was the best pilot I had ever met.
Your mom is so fat she ate an iPad and said, "Ahqah!" funny food mmm banana and hehe haha! And what deal with airline food? It's not white and it's not black and it's not Asian!? AHAH? DSF
My dick is hard as a rock, anyone wanna fuck?