Aircraft jokes
What happens when a computer thinks it knows better than a human?
Ask Boeing.
Everything disappears in the Bermuda Triangle.
Except my depression.
It’s a bird.
It’s a plane.
Oh, shit it is a plane!
What do you call an LGBTQ+ plane?
A biplane.
A Russian wife turned to her husband and asked...
"What's this special military operation our glorious leader keeps talking about?"
Her husband replied, "It's a proxy war between Russia and NATO."
"Oh, right. How's it going?"
"Well," he replied, "so far we've lost 200,000 soldiers, 4,000 tanks, 500 aircraft, numerous helicopters, loads of armoured vehicles and artillery pieces along with our 'flag ship'."
"Wow! What about NATO?"
"They haven't turned up yet."
Helicopters...
Plane versus plane. Who wins? Plane.
What's the difference between MH370 and my dad?
Both disappeared, but one killed 239 people.
What did the bomber say to the jet?
"Sorry bro, I gotta bomb."
*WAIT NO-*
A Japanese, Hispanic, and Iraqi man are in a plane. The Japanese man drops a bowl off of it and shouts "I love my country!" Then the Hispanic man drops a burrito off the side and shouts, "I love my country!" Finally, the Iraqi man drops a bomb and shouts, "I love my country!"
Not much longer on, a man walks by a boy who is sitting by a crater laughing non-stop. And the man asks, "What's so funny?" And the boy says "When I farted, my house blew up!"
Why did the 767 fly into the towers?
Because a310 dared it to.
Helicopters fly because they are so ugly that the ground pushes them away.
What do you call a woman in a fighter jet to the right of the president?
An escort.
The two brothers were sitting next to each other. They played with planes all day long. They got too violent, and now their sister (World Trade Center) stands there. The brothers were put up for adoption, and the planes were given back to their owners.
What is the difference between a banana and a helicopter? Neither of them is a police officer.
There's a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard: the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, "People need me for my medical skills," grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, "People need me for my intelligence," grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, "I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute." The nerd says, "Don't worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack."
My dad died during 9/11, he was the best pilot in all Saudi Arabia.
I heard that the Twin Towers have some plane DNA.
"Hey, look, that plane is getting bigge-"
You know why they call her Wonder Woman?
She's always wondering where she parked her invisible jet.
The plane said to the tower, "You're so cute, I want to come crashing into your arms!"