Runway jokes

A blind pilot walks into a plane waving his walking stick.

The passengers all look at each other in disbelief. The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,

"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the captain is legally blind, but rest assured, he is one of the best pilots in the world with over six thousand successful flights."

Next the co-pilot makes his way to the plane, and he is also blind and uses his walking stick to make it to the cabin.

The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,

"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the co-pilot is also blind, but rest assured, he is the second-best pilot in the world with over five thousand successful flights."

At this point, the plane begins to take off from the runway. As it gains speed, the passengers grow tenser. The plane keeps accelerating more and more, and as it approaches the end of the runway, it still hasn't left the ground. The plane is approaching the end of the runway at high speed, and the passengers scream, "Oh my God, we're all going to die!"

Suddenly, the plane takes off and begins its ascent.

The pilot turns to the co-pilot and says, "The day they stop screaming, we're screwed."

You're so bald, United Airlines has asked for permission to land.

Your forehead is so big, I could land a jet plane on it.

Yo forehead so big, an airplane can use that as a runway!

Why don’t Chinese people model? Because it would look like the same model every time.

The plane said to the tower, "You're so cute, I want to come crashing into your arms!"

Your hairline is so far gone that you could build a runway.

What did the plane say to the tower?

"Give me a kiss."

Osama be like: "Fuck boys, runway is full, better use this tower!"

I was on a plane and my mom said, "It's just a little turbulence."

And I said, "Mom, we just got on the runway!"

That forehead is so tall it can eat a plane! Open wide!

What can you say about planes that you can say about stocks?

They both be flying??

"Hey, look, that plane is getting bigge-"

Control tower to Boeing 747, you're clear to land on (said person)'s forehead.

Why did Hellen Keller's dogs run away?

Because wouldn't you runway too if your name was djhdhekdndyekedhekekfjkfurir?